When a woman of sophistication and proper upbringing sees her male dermatologist one thing she must never say to him is the following:
Take my wart off, take my skin tag off,…take my clothes off.
do. My true love, Seymour, is completely
true to me in his heart even though we haven’t
gone all the way.
This is Lady Lynda. Idle gossip will get you
nowhere. Besides, A LADY NEVER TELLS! I’m
still a virgin at thirty-five because I’m waiting for
the right man. He well may be Seymour Toze. It
will come to fisticuffs if you ever see him again,
This is Lady Lynda. When a man is queer, it’s
just because he has not met the right girl.
What to do? Enshroud him with quaint
witticisms and inspirational conversation.
Then pull your skirt over your head and shout,
“I’m a whole lot of woman and I need a whole lot
of man. This works every time.
The Black Orchid replies, “That will happen
when elephants fly!”
When a member of the same sex approaches you,
run from the room, shrieking, “But, I’m going to
marry Johnny Depp. I’m going to marry
The Black Orchid replies. The love of a woman
can be a wonderful thing. Women are like
precious flowers, fragrant and soft. I eat
pomegranites as well as bananas if you receive
of Proper Young Womanhood, Wives, and
Mothers. Never have Sex before marriage no
matter how fetching the man. There are Rules
which I shall elucidate.
1) Keep a clean house.
2) Prepare nutricious food.
3) Never stray, and have sex at least twice a
week. Anymore would be too taxing.
4) Occasionally, wear something pretty so he can
remember why he married you. This could
5) Never nag and make him think he thought of
everything before you did.
6) Read the newspaper so you can make