Lady Lynda’s Society Niceity

Hello Darlings

When a woman of sophistication and proper upbringing  sees her male dermatologist one thing she must never say to him is the following:
Take my wart off,  take my skin tag off,…take my clothes off.

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do.  My true love, Seymour, is completely

true to me in his heart even though we haven’t

gone all the way.

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Idle Gossip – Lady Lynda

This is Lady Lynda.  Idle gossip will get you

nowhere.  Besides, A LADY NEVER TELLS!  I’m

still a virgin at thirty-five because I’m waiting for

the right man.  He well may be Seymour Toze.  It

will come to fisticuffs if you ever see him again,

Wanda Whore.

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This is Lady Lynda.  When a man is queer, it’s

just because he has not met the right girl.

What to do?  Enshroud him with quaint

witticisms and inspirational conversation.

Then pull your skirt over your head and shout,

“I’m a whole lot of woman and I need a whole lot

of man.  This works every time.

The Black Orchid replies,  “That will happen

when elephants fly!”

Agenda For Pudenda

When a member of the same sex approaches you,

run from the room, shrieking, “But, I’m going to

marry Johnny Depp.  I’m going to marry

Johnny Depp!”

The Black Orchid replies.  The love of a woman

can be a wonderful thing.  Women are like

precious flowers, fragrant and soft.  I eat

pomegranites as well as bananas if you receive

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of Proper Young Womanhood, Wives, and

Mothers.  Never have Sex before marriage no

matter how fetching the man.  There are Rules

which I shall elucidate.

1)  Keep a clean house.

2)  Prepare nutricious food.

3)  Never stray, and have sex at least twice a

week.  Anymore would be too taxing.

4)  Occasionally, wear something pretty so he can

remember why he married you.  This could

mean lingerie.

5) Never nag and make him think he thought of

everything before you did.

6)  Read the newspaper so you can make

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