Lady Lynda’s Etiquette Talk


tagged crowd, etiquette., heckling, Proper Manners Lecture
Lady Lynda stepped up the wooden side steps to the stage  as if she was solumnly  entering to be blessed by the the spirit of “Ms Manners”. Once she got there her signs of nervousness dissipated.. She quickly perused the mostly young to middle aged crowd. Her observation was couples in various ethnic groups, including blacks and Hispanics. She tastefully cleared her throat and started lecturing. The middle aged woman looked demure and slender in her loose fitting lemon chiffon sheath.
“I am truly grateful you came here to see my teach you proper manners. Can you imagine how thrilled I am to be on this tour. I want to thank you from the cockles of my heart…”

Suddenly a young rowdy male teenager in tee and jeans yelled “WTF lady!!!”

Lady Lynda replied “My dear young man. I understand what you are trying to say. Allow me to tell you my talk is only tonight. I’m terribly sorry but its not Wednesday, Thursday, Friday too.”

Lady Lynda partook from the cup nearby. “Its only water. I think it was be the height of impropriety to drink something stronger. I’m certain you get my drift. Getting back to my talk. Etiquette is the art of making people feel comfortable. Specifically my mission is to save young womenkind of hellocious influence of this dastardly world. Do your utmost never to disparage anyone. If you need to do so, do it discreetly. In that way they won’t get hurt. As they say what they don’t know won’t hurt them. Please don’t comment on disparities too. For instance if you see a man whose 2’8” and a man whose over 8′ don’t say well thats the short and the tall of it. Pardon the sentiment of telling a person with different colored eyes. Well one blew this and the other blew that way. These two examples bring back the time Seymour and I visited the World Cheapest Freak Show in Intercourse PA. Stop tittering. That’s the height of decadence. I forlornly remember the star freak was a man with a deviated septum. The poor dear I thought but for the grace of the LORD there go I. Here’s a different example If you ever meet siblings who were born conjoined twins but nowsperated never sing Peaches and Herb’s “Reunited. I deign believe it would traumatize the poor dears. Let them go their separate ways. I recall some years ago a dear woman friend called me in the middle of night. She was utterly distraught discovering her favorite male movie star was bald. I consoled her by mentioning ‘Look what he’d save in hair products. Why the snickering?” Lady Lynda inquired puzzled and rather miffed.

Some slutty young woman yelled “That’s not the only benefit. Besides I could really use a “Snickers” right now. as she snickered.

“Pray tell what ever could be some other good in being hair deprived?

A sassy young woman dressed in a purple shag hair style, matching make up in the latest Goth fashion yelled “A different benefit comes to be me right away” She emphasized the word comes ever so slightly but enough that many of the individuals there quickly understood her drift.

Lady Lynda still puzzled decided to ignore the woman who so intensely reminded her of the female charges of the “Charm School for Wayward Girls” If only this dear waif was so unfortunate not be part of her class. Maybe if she ignored her crude remark and continued on with her talk, the poor dear just might learn a thing about proper manners. Such as not interrupting with crude remarks.

Lady Lynda continued smoothing out her fine lemon chiffon dress to regain her composure. “Moving on I remember the other day I was walking through the corridor of a subway station. A young man came up to me and said he wanted to let his thing do its thing with me. I told him of course constructively yet firmly. That was the worst pick up line ever!!!” Besides thing is such a general term. He looked peeved at me but it was for his own edification. I told you won’t impress if you are redundant. Let me repeat. Noone likes someone who uses redundancies.”

“Speaking of being redundant I hope you were edified by my talk and I continue my tour. I wish you adeiu my dears.”

Categories: Uncategorized

5 Replies to “Lady Lynda’s Etiquette Talk”

  1. Thanks for all your hard work on this site. Betty really loves managing investigation and it’s easy to see why. Almost all notice all about the compelling method you make precious tips and tricks by means of this blog and as well increase response from other people on this subject plus our favorite princess is truly being taught a great deal. Take advantage of the rest of the new year. You are conducting a first class job.

  2. A lot of thanks for all your labor on this blog. My mother takes pleasure in getting into investigations and it’s easy to understand why. We all notice all of the lively way you produce priceless techniques via this web site and as well as improve contribution from website visitors on this situation so my princess is really discovering a lot of things. Take advantage of the remaining portion of the year. You have been carrying out a useful job.

  3. A lot of thanks for all of the labor on this site. My niece really likes working on investigations and it is easy to understand why. I notice all regarding the lively ways you create both interesting and useful guidance through your web blog and as well attract contribution from other ones on that content plus our own girl is really understanding a whole lot. Take advantage of the rest of the new year. You’re the one performing a splendid job.

  4. My husband and i felt quite joyful when Emmanuel managed to conclude his homework from your precious recommendations he grabbed out of your web pages. It is now and again perplexing to simply always be freely giving strategies that some others have been making money from. And now we acknowledge we now have you to give thanks to for that. The type of illustrations you made, the straightforward blog navigation, the friendships you give support to promote – it’s most impressive, and it’s leading our son and the family understand the article is pleasurable, which is pretty vital. Thanks for the whole lot!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Skip to toolbar