Month: June 2021

Lady Lynda’s Confidence Restored.

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:ady Lynda sat there glumly on her paisley upholstered sofa contemplating what precisely came in effect because of her etiquette teachings to the students. How edifying was her teachings? Yes it was true there was a soiree but what happened next? Yes what did happen? Did her as they say on that new fangled net , her BFF Auntie Carol. Did she know?
There was this Lourdes, aka Lala and her gentleman friend Francisco. She of the Charm School for Wayward Girls. He of The Pequot Reform School for Dastardly Bastards. That ruffian was no gentleman when she first met him. Lady Lynda reminisced. She thought of the Latino Francisco, olive skin, and ebony eyes. His face was a stark contrast in disconcerting dissonance. His lady friend Lala was olive, statuesque, voluptious. Lourdes was an apt name for her for Lord knows how she’d turn out. Auntie Carol’s colleague remembered her experiences with the wayward girls and the dastardly bastards, las Combronas. She recalled most specifically the remarkably handsome Francisco and Lala. Her successes in inculcating in proper deportment. She made them former neer do wells. That was her shining hour and her crowning glory. Now her spirits brightened and knew what to tell her potential agent.
The woman was still nervous as she dialed the phone. This time she was feeling somewhat more confident.

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Lady Lynda tries to teach an etiquette lesson to the girls of “The Charm School for Wayward Girls”

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Lady Lynda entered the classroom feeling terrorized by the brazen girls of the charm school for wayward girls. It was this way every time she tried to teach manners lessons to them.“. The next moment she was in front of the students. Her prim carnation pink wool suit suited her well. The woman’s opaque stockings and flat black patent

leather shoes matched her demeanor well. Her salt and pepper hair (tense agreement ) was done in a conservative style,ala “Leave it to be Beaver’s June Cleaver’s . Her makeup was tasteful,,mascara, hint of pink rose on her lips. Immediately before her talk she quickly pinched her rounded cheeks for a rosy glow   The thirtyish woman was accompanied by the persistent presence of her little white gloves..That made her reminescent of Disney cartoon characters.

The teen girls sit sullen in their wooden chairs, behind their matching desks. They look glum as if this is the last place they want to be. Mrs Toze oblivious to their expression blithely continues her talk.These are all in present tense and as it is by it self as a para that would work.

“Hello class Welcome to Etiquette 101. I would love for you to think of here as your manner manor. A little word play for your amusement. Were it not for manners, our world would have been blown up long ago. Manners are your entre into the world of high society and I’m sure you’ll be glad of this at your Coming Out Ball.” Mrs Seymour Toze immediately notices on the faces of the teens a look of consternation.

“At any rate we are here to teach you the ins and outs of behaving mannerly.”

Just then one of the more insolent girls dressed in a tank top and tight denim skirt so high it might as swell be a belt, quipped. “In and out remindsme? of something I really could use right now.”

“I know what you’re referring to.   The proper term is coitis. Sex is too mundane a word to describe such a woman’s most precious activity,and is permissible only in the confines of a sanctified marriage. Do not cheapen your most precious possession, your virginity!” intoned Lady Lynda.Is such necessary. Or does such mean as in such a woman that would have sex.

Suddenly an adolescent girl’s bubble gum burst on her face. Lady Lynda told her she was the height of rudeness. The girl apologized. She then proceeded to scrape the gum off her face and stick it underneath her desk. Lady Lynda looks on in horror and disgust.

Lady Lynda said “Did you ever realize about the germs on that gum. How you’re spreading disease. What if radiation caused it to change it into a giant pink blob that devours people! Ever think of that?!!!


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