Lady Lynda Expounds upon her Calling of Saving the World Through Good Manners.

Lady Lynda, sitting on her rose pink divan, fanned herself to try to eliminate her vapors. The now celebrity etiquette expert was hard at work thinking up some bon mots for her upcoming lecture in Rose Tree PA. Roses enlivened her tender sensibilities. The flowers of love. Yet as she polished her manners tidbits she basked in the glow of continuing splendid tour. Yes she at last finds her true calling. She will talk about how utterly important decorum is in virtually every situation. It is essential for men and women to be mannerly. The worst fault was to be uncouth.  Be consistently  couth.

With her fountain pen , the lady of Seymour Toze begins to write in an elegant lady like cursive script some notes. If it was a font it would be Edwardian Script ITC The very idea of using the writing word program on her computer was so plebian.

The earvest woman solumnly reminds herself to  say the following at her talk. To even mention, let alone sing the “Band” song sung by Levon Helm “Stage Fright” to many actors and actresses would be the height of cruelty. These are such sensitive souls. Those poor dears with their rapacious fans. It would be the height of disrespect. Speaking of that word, never mention height to a little person. That phrase rubs it in that they’re vertically challenged. On the other extreme, the height of considerateness is to be sensitive to other’s feelings.  They might think you’re rubbing it in. What ever you do don’t ever give a dwarf short shrift.

Lady Lynda was ready for whatever she experienced. She took to the stage like a matador takes to the arena. She was proud, bold and most of all knew her calling. This was the career she was born to do. Good manners was her destiny, her mission in life. The middle aged woman appeared the height of style and sophistication with her prim mauve organza dress.

The proud woman stood as tall as she could with her five feet one frame. At least she made it pass the minimal requirements of the civil rights group for really short statured persons. Yes she barely made it but she did make it. But there for the grace of the LORD she poured her heart to those who were less fortunate than her, heightwise.

“I know I’m old fashion. This may seem quite quaint to you young men and woman here. I believe couples should be celibate before marriage. Remember no hanky panky. She waved her index finger at them. A quick kiss on the cheek is fine but please don’t get out of line. A chaste kiss on the lips. And other tips. A gentle embrace as you gaze at each others face.

One impudent young man stood up. He shouted “Isn’t that from a song by “Three Dog Night?”
Lady Lynda looked confused. She wondered what the chap was referring to. What did the American and Irish band do with celibacy, Her expression was that of consternation. The man who was showed such impudence began singing “Celibate, celibate, dance to the music.”

“No, no that’s not it at all. I fear you don’t know what I mean. she proclaimed indignantly. For your edification it means…I know what it means dearie. I was only joking with you. Can’t you take a joke? “I can’t take rudeness, disrespect. Getting back to what I was saying. Two people in a relationship should refrain from consumating it before becoming man and wife.”

“Every romantic twosome should respect each others chastity. Young ladies I think we talk honestly I feel you should draw the line. She touched her neck. Not here and certainly not here” With that sentiment and feeling she educated the crowd she walked off with a self confident smile on her pert pink lips. She beamed with pride as she exited the stage with thunderous applause.

Gratitude

Lady Lynda Mae Hoffenfetter Toze fondly reflected on how much she was grateful for. Of course her life wasn’t perfect but whose life is she blithlely reminded herself. Over all her days were definitely on the plus side. Now if only her she didn’t need to wear plus size clothes. Then she would definitely be on the right track. She sighed as she thought of how she tracked down a fine man for herself and vice versa.

“How Callous of Seymour Toze”

How Callous of Seymour Toze.

Seymour Toze couldn’t help hearing a woman’s strident voice. He struts toward the stockroom of “Into Leather” shoe store. As he turns around to sees who she is. Judging by her booming voice, he pictures her as being fiftyish, full figured to put it tactfully. When hesees her , Seymour discovers he was pretty much right. He figured she would be dressed conservatively. To his surprise her clothes were rather loud and conspicuously youth oriented. She looked as if she raided her teenager’s closet. She wore a wool sweater with colors of royal blue, scarlet, deep purple and other bold hues that would light up even the darkest night. Her jeans were form fitting stretched over her good sized hips. She wore sandals. Her clothing choice made as much , to Seymour, as wearing a gown to a fast food place.

“Never the less, however she is dressed, I wonder if she wants me to be of service to her. Yes we do our best to please the customers here.”

It was close to closing time. There wern’t that many customers there. A few couples and their small children and some women shopping together. It was clear the new woman could get the servicing she needed. She walked down the aisle directly to Seymour.

“Sir I read on the sign outside , you do pedicures here. I’m hoping you can cure me of this really painful callous near the heel of my right foot. Its really killing me. Okay…you know what I mean. Oh its so callous lol.”

Seymour Toze heard her tittering laugh and knew from the sound she was bravely putting on a happy face in the midst of a tad discomfort.

“Yes they are done there and I’m the one to do them. Please sit down in a nearby chair.”

She sat down. The shoe salesman immediately sat down directly in front of her with one knee up, as if he were proposing. The woman gushed as she noticed his gesture. She then groaned as if she were greatly pained.

“What can I do for you” he asked

“Oh this callous is so painful. It really hurts when I walk. Can you get rid of it for me. I’d be so ever grateful.”

“My pleasure ” Toze replies with a joyful smile The customerknew he meant exactly what he meant pleasure.

She removes her right sandal and Seymour Toze instantly saw what she was referring to. There it was splotchy, creamy yellow in color and outright gorgeous. Seymour never recalled seeing such a fine specimen. It would be a delight to work with her. Her callous was glorious. It was the Mona Lisa of callouses. He was so happy he went to work today. This woman’s problem was his pleasure and he was thrilled.

He didn’t want his treatment to end but he was a professional. He performed a massage with tea tee oil, a vigorous rubdown with soothing calendula and finished off with a pumice stone. It did the trick, the woman sighed a deep sigh of relief, smiled joyously and thanked him.

Lady Lynda Dreams of when she first met Seymour.

Lady Lynda and her spouse Seymour Toze enjoy cuddling next to each on their plush orchid hued love seat Lady Lynda reflects on how sensual orchids are Seymour in the meantime about Wanda On of the singers at the “Ponderosa Stomp” He thought of how her first name could be the start of “I wanda be your woman.” Toze sighs and breaths heavily as he gets close to his wifey, He embraces her in a tight squeeze and his mate squeals with delight Lady Lynda in turn reciprocates with appreciative hugs as she wraps her arms around Seymour’s manly chest.

Lady Lynda lets out a sigh as she basks in the total satisfaction of being so physically close to her love rman. She beams as she reminds herself her lover man is now her married to her. She is so happy and feeling so secure she falls asleep in his arms. Toze gently rubs her hair and smiles. It feels so wonderful to know that they are close to each other. The married couple gaze in delight at each other.

“gosh I’m in my high school swimming class Just a moment ago I was cuddling with my sweetiepie Seymour in our love seat. And now I’m sixteen years old wearing my little fishes two piece bathing suit. There’s a little skirt that just skims my upper thigh on the bottom part. I look so saucy in it. I was pretty svelte then Ah such is the wonders of youth. The girls and boys are waiting to go into the Olympic size pool. Its a private prep school on the Mainline , western suburbs of Philadelphia PA. Its summer and we are really, really looking forward to submerging our hot bodies in the cool wet, refreshing water.”

“In the corner of my eye I see a pleasant looking male student. He is looking down to the pavement. His staring looks intense to me. I’m starting to at least wonder what why he is so fascinated by the grounds we are on. I’d like to ask him but he seems so unapproachable. Its like he’s so lost into what he’s seeing. Wish I know how to draw near to him. I notice the other boys are ignoring him That intrigues me. I wonder what his background is. Why he is here at the private school.

He slowly raises his head. Looking straight at me he tells me he thinks my epicanthic folds on the inner corners of my eyes look exotic and my different colored eyes even more so. I gush at him. I bashfully thank him. I tell him sincerely I like his warm smile. His chestnut brown wavy hair goes well with his honey brown eyes. Right then and there I knew we were meant for each other. He I dreamed of meeting a girl like you ever since I spent two years at Mid Eastern PA Prep. It was a special school for kids like me. Like me I mean boys and girls with idiosyncrasies.”

“Lady Lynda you look rested Did you dream anything?” gleefully asks Seymour. “I dreamed when we first laid eyes on each other in that fateful swim class in the prep school.”? “Ah yes that was as pivotal moment for both of us” replied her husband.

Cheap Flight to the Ponderosa Stomp.

Charlie Gracie rock guitariist
Charlie Gracie Rocker in his youth Still going strong.

Way down yonder in oldies festival time in the “Big Easy”
Subtitle Lady Lynda and Seymour Toze look forwaard to one of the coolest oldies festivals in the US. The Ponderosa Stomp. <“href=’https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytp7GGq-1qs”>
Lady Lynda and Seymour Toze cuddle next to each other in their adjacent seats on the plane. Neither of the couple knew whether to trust their cheap flight to New Orleans. They are so excited to be at the Ponderosa Stomp oldies festival. This was especially true when they constantly jolted with the flight being so wobbly. They rest their elbows on the incline between them Lady Lynda grips her spouse’s hand as tight as a cap on a hermetically sealed jar. Seymour winces but tells himself its worth it to comfort his wife. He looks out the window to distract himself from the discomfort.
“Are you sure this cheap airline is safe?” his wife quite uneasily asks. ‘
Toze replies “A little turbulance is to be expected dear”
“Are you certain this is a little” she asks.

The plane is smoothly sailing. The couple breath a sigh of relief. They joke how their synchronized breathing proved they were meant for each other. What a relief his honey’s grip wasn’t so visor like. He and his honeykins were happy the plane landed safely in NOLA They were pleased they reserved a room in a local moderately priced bed and breakfast. Seymour loves the place’s name. “Maison Pierre Lafitte. The Lafitte name reminded him of his career as a shoe salesman at the “inter Leather” shoe store and his profession as a pedicurist. But especially how he loved his wife’s firm fleshy toes that he first noticed on that day in swim class in high school. He proposed that it was French for the feet. He knew from making the reservation with his wife this was where he and his honeykins should stay. It helped too the room was cozy and comfy with comfortable queen size beds and quaint furnishing. The view from the picture window is truly spectacular as well.Lady Lynda agreed that it was a charming gem to stay in in the heart of the “Big Easy”

Lady Lynda and her hubbykina wake up from a refreshing evening’s sleep. Lady Lynda squeals with glee and excitement as she pictures her and Seymour at the Ponderosa Stomp. The yearly musical festival of obscure but ultra talented pop singers from the past decades. Seymour smiles as he envisions performing in person such rock and roll stalwarts such as Lenny Lizardo and his Leapin’ lizards, old timer Papa Don Preach and most of all WandaGudtimes and her Good Time Gals. The couple wiggle their shoulders and gyrated to the wild sounds. The two screamd with delight at the acts of the two early October festival. Lady Lynda gushed with delight how the music was a potpouri of blues, jump blues , country, rockabilly and other musical genres Seymour hooted excitedly as the sounds stretched back to nearly fifty years and counting It was an oldies lovers delight they wholeheartedly agree They were deeply grateful for the “Knights of the MauMau” Seymour Toze felt a lump in his throat as thought about the negro influence to modern music. From the primitive drumming of “Congo Square”in New Orleans by the slaves prior to the emancipation to modern RYB and even hip hop. It was a mighty sound he grandly opined Lady Lynda Toze sat there with a gleeful grin enjoying the many sounds of the truly talented performances

The perforemers, single artists and groups proudly walk up the steps to the stage to perform their most famous numbers. Many of them gushed as they played before ever grateful audience. Some smiled triumphantly to be playing once more at a live performance. Everyone was grateful to be back on stage doing what they loved. The joy of pleasing enthusiastic listeners was palpable. That is being a part of an evening entertaining with their hit songs their fans. Plus entertaining new fans too. Directly above them was the round Pondersosa stomp sign prominently displayed One by one the performances were the epitomy of the roots of rock and roll.
The performers walked on stage in what was a several hour tribute to the roots of rock. The crowd clapped, hooted, hollered. They stomped their fee with the powerful feet. The Tozes thought it was an old fashion camp meeting. The only difference was instead of religion getting into their soul it was good old fashion rock and roll. It was down home R&R mixed with r&B, Rockabilly, Swamp Rock and anything the crowd desired. Lady Lynda thought it was the fun they could ever remember at a music concert.

Yippie Ki Ay!!! News about Upcoming Rodeo. Cheap Flight to Dallas. Texas Steak restaurant






<"keyword rodeo">





Lady Lynda and Seymour Toze snuggle together on their love seat as they watched their absolute favorite afternoon talk show. They love the perky , personable blonde hostess The couple laughed at the television woman’s monologue. Next they heard the guests and topics. Seymour and Lady Lynda heard there would be highlights of a real rodeo in Dallas TX.

“I RECALL darling There’s going to be a local rodeo“Yes it is.Id be fun to go us two.’ Seeing those cowboys, bronkin[ bulls, clowns and all that thrilling rodeo stuff”
“Yippee eye kay aye the rodeo!!!! yell the couple gleefully . Now is their chance. Seymour Toze proclaims I don't recall feeling this exciting since my first pedicure woman customer. I'm as thrilled as you are "gushes Lady Lynda. "As thrilled as seeing Dan. D. Walker talk clearly with my help" He immediately comes to mind when I hear rodeo. "Seeing real cowboys with genuine fancy carved leather boots They pictur horses running wild on the dirt floor. The cowboys lasso those calves as quickly as Seymour Toze’s beady eyes eye the toes of his female pedicure customers.

Lady Lynda and the love of her sighed a sigh of relief when their cheap flight safely reached the local airport/ From tnere it was a short "Uber" ride to the rodeo. Seymour Toze sat at the middle tier row. The two thought it was a terrific unobstructed view. They were glad too they bought binoculars just in case. Lady Lynda tried to stifle her disapproval when she couldn’t help noticing how Seymour was quite interested in the curvaceous female drum majorettes in their rather skimpy cowgirl outfits. Seymour immediately noticed his honey’s disapproval. He started to put his left arm around her while with his right arm holding the binoculars. "Awww honey baby its only a show.” “Yes its that’s all it should be “ snaps his wife.

The twosome saw Native American men and women in full regalia including colorful headdresses with beautiful colorful plumes. Next came the Cowboys on their majestic black steeds. There were the clowns too giving the show a silly yet fun flavor. Th first act came out looking like they were chomping at the gate, the bronco riders. They looked no more then their late teens. Some of their skills were truly mpressive. They gave everyone who saw them they were practicing their rodeo skills since they were knee high to that proverbial grasshopper. Like they were little enough to look up to Jiminy Cricket
Lady Lynda noticed one of the bronco riders was somewhat older then the rest. She began to look at him more closely. As she did the woman immediately noticed it was Dan. D.Walker. The woman couldn’t believe her eyes. The man she met at the “World’s Oldest Freak Show” The man who virtually everyone in Intercourse PA thought was so exotic because they never heard a Texan accent before. There he was on that bull riding him like a pro. The couple noticed how when the bull dipped forward , Walker would lean backwards. When the animal rose on his two feet, his rider would bend down. It was a joy to behold such symmetry. At least the ride was over and Dan D. Walker shouted Yippee kay Eye as he jumped off victorious.

He then looked up and saw the Tozes. He ran over. Pumped up with victory, to where his friends sat, he smiled and waved at them. It was such a great feeling to see his old pals. Lady Lynda and Seymour Toze. The couple waved and smiled back. It was a terrific way to end the day at the rodeo. They all celebrated at the Grand View Steak Restaurant."