Lady Lynda Mae Hoffenfetter Toze Seymourbrings home their brick red boston terrier Buster. The couple beams with delight there is a canine addition to their household. To them the dog is perfect just the way he is. T I don’t give a flying fig he’d not black and white or sable and white snarls Seymour He looks so handsome to me.I like just as he is. Toze happily gushes.
“He looks so darling to me too” commented his wife Lady Lynda
The couple relishes that Buster is a year old and house trained. That “Being so compact twenty pounds and fifteen inches he won’t need much exercise . Plus his short furmerely needs a brushing with al dog brush that can bepurchase in a pet supply store. Yes I believe we made the right choice.Lady Lynda gushed. Seymour heartily agreed.
The dog shyly comes out of his crate and immediately surveys his immediate surroundings. He seems bewildered. . The two fret about making a mistake. Then Seymour urged his wife”Don’t give up too easily. We just need to show him the layout of our domicile. So he can used used to his home. Lady Lynda smiled at Seymour’s suggestions. “Let’s go” Lady Lynda exclaimed. “Let’s start with the foyer.. Then will work out way to the living room, dining room,bedroom,. the kitchen, guestroom, den, rec. room, basement” rattled Seymour’s
He needs to know that he feels comfortable, secure here.. We are responsible for his safety his well being. Yes indeed. we must be fair to him. He is totally dependent on us. He is here to stay. . They insist ot not shirking their responsibilitities And with vet visits for periodic checkups for making certain his shots are up to date that could be for a very long time. Lady Lynda and Seymour Toze delight in their decision.
“We must make absolutely certain he learns the basic commands asap. I wouldn’t be surprised bein he’s a year old he knows some basic commands. The next day we will test to see if he knows the following commands. Come, stay, fetch. If he know to walk with us not definitely not ahead of us. That we are his alpha dogs. That he realizes he can’t jump on people, especially our guests. It is of utmost necessity for us , our guests and Buster he learns his manners. Well Lady Lynda your first non human client in the teaching of proper etiquette. I bet you’d be quite good at this since you are expert on these manners . “But he’s a dog.” retorted Lady Lady. He’s not a human. How can he learn as such. How on earth can I teach him as if he were a little child. H needs to be taught as a canine. I need to brush on the training part of our dog books.I’m certain if I do that there shouldn’t be much of a problem training him. I do recall Boston Terriers pick up new information quite quickly. For dogs they are very intelligent. I mean that they can easily learn new information. He is not a small human he is an animal of the canis major family “Your right my dear sweet practical Lady Lynda But for now let him get a good night sleep as much as he caninely possibly can. I suspect he right now needs his sleep. Tomorrow as Scarlet O’Hara said Margeret Mitchell epic civil war novel “Tomorrow is another day” With that in mind why don’t we call it a day and go our bedroom, get cozy and get some much needed shuteye. The dog can sleep in his crate We were told he is crate trained. With that comforting thought in mind the couple are set t oget their much needed sleep. For they are utterly exhausted and filled with joyful excitement, anticipation of owning a pet.
- Lady Lynda by the way she stately walked across the stage displayed her confidence with the attendees watching her in their seats. . Months of experience lecturing to people made her feel used to talking to strangers. Plus the careful, preparation down to the minutest steps helped prepare for this moment. The saying she fondly recalled that strangers are merely friends we didn’t know yet greatly encouraged her.
The woman quickly eyeballed the audience. she slowly walked across the stage a secpmd to,e as she surveyed the people who came to see her talk netiquette for newbies.
- “Please always say to yourself. Everyone is human. None of us are machines. I know that sounds obvious. Yet many of us forget that we are communicating with other people. Consistently be polite. Take the high road. . If someone is rude , heckles you or otherwise goads you never stoop to their level. ” In internet terms don’t feed the troll.” The lecturer smiled as the audience reacted quite favorably to her remark.
- Lady Linda continued with telling the clients “One good way of knowing what is proper behavior is to check out the cyberspace you are in by going there sans making comments. In other words lurk before you make yourself to be a jerk.
- Be respectful of others time, bandwidth.
- Check your grammar, spelling and punctuation. Don’t go into vulgarities. Writing Fing is equally as bad as writing the complete word. Don’t curse. For example its far better to say or type I respectfully disagree vs you’re full of…you know. …
- Definitely feel free to share your relevant experiences. Equally important let others share theirs. Never talk over someone talking. That is something people truly dislike. On the net try not to
- Help keep flame* wars under control Even better try your best to not let them happen.
- Respect the privacy of everyone participating in what ever capacity possible. The only exception and I doubt this will happen, if someone is a danger to self or others.
- Be respectful of other’s feelings, viewpoints, perspectives.
- Lastly we are human and everyone of us makes mistakes. If you feel the need to correct someone do it gently, unobstrusively. I hope you enjoyed my talk Even more importantly you learned how to better communicate on the net in a civil , courteous way.”
- The men and women’s reaction with their loud clapping pleased Lady Lynda very much.
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:ady Lynda sat there glumly on her paisley upholstered sofa contemplating what precisely came in effect because of her etiquette teachings to the students. How edifying was her teachings? Yes it was true there was a soiree but what happened next? Yes what did happen? Did her as they say on that new fangled net , her BFF Auntie Carol. Did she know?
There was this Lourdes, aka Lala and her gentleman friend Francisco. She of the Charm School for Wayward Girls. He of The Pequot Reform School for Dastardly Bastards. That ruffian was no gentleman when she first met him. Lady Lynda reminisced. She thought of the Latino Francisco, olive skin, and ebony eyes. His face was a stark contrast in disconcerting dissonance. His lady friend Lala was olive, statuesque, voluptious. Lourdes was an apt name for her for Lord knows how she’d turn out. Auntie Carol’s colleague remembered her experiences with the wayward girls and the dastardly bastards, las Combronas. She recalled most specifically the remarkably handsome Francisco and Lala. Her successes in inculcating in proper deportment. She made them former neer do wells. That was her shining hour and her crowning glory. Now her spirits brightened and knew what to tell her potential agent.
The woman was still nervous as she dialed the phone. This time she was feeling somewhat more confident.
.Lady Lynda forlornly thought of how she missed lecturing the young women of the charm school for wayward girls. She felt melancholy thinking her words of wisdom would never be heard by those dear young men of Mr. Pequots Reform School for Dastardly Bastards. She sighed as she pondered how her male charges would consistently be actual bastards. However they were dastardly no more. Conversely, the girls were now refined young women. Both grads were ready to take their place in polite society. It was a dim chance that the female students would ignorantly blather away at vulgar nonsense. Lady Lynda felt a warm feeling in the cockles of her heart. Her mood was decidedly blithe as she reflected on how her woman friend and herself dramatically changed such unfortunate wretch’s lives so significantly for the better.
Auntie Carol‘s faithful colleague now felt a sense of emptine Yes the student of both schools could get a bit unruly she admitted. She recalled bemused the time whe the girls guffawed at her quaint manners…Manners such as saying please and thank you or may I. The woman reluctantly remembered how it was a huge challenge to gain their respect. It was like convincing a Conservative to vote for a Liberal candidate. In a way she couldn’t blame them as she tried to see how she and Auntie Carol were initially perceived as two dowdy middle aged women. Who if the girl‘s vocabulary was sophisticated enough would be viewed as dowagers. Lynda’s perspective, she was a sophisticated lady.
Now she wondered how she’d fill the void in her life. There was her husband Seymour. He was busy with his day job as a shoe salesman and pedicurist at the “Into Leather” shoe store. The woman reflecting on her time with her students came to the conclusion lecturing was her forte.
It was what she did best. Her time giving talks to the students of both of the schools proved that. She fondly recalled eventually how they listened intensely to whatever she told them .
No more would they, especially the boys be baneful threats to society. They would know their place and instead of looking bedraggled they would be the epitomy of ladylike and gentlemanly deportment. They would be belligerent no more. In place of belligerence , there would be respect for societal mores.
Looking back Lady Lynda thought, bemused that if she can make these swaggering braggarts become civilized than she could do for almost everybody. She found her niche. Her mission would be to lecture on the importance of proper manners.
Lady Lynda’s Memories of her then etiquette partner Auntie Carol and her perspective of the Charm school graduation.
Lady Lynda screwed up her face in disgust as she remembered the dreadful example her former etiquette partner Auntie Carol gave to their newly graduated reformed charm
school ladies. A little tipsy I don't believe is the right phrase. How
'bout practically roaring down drunk? Conversely I remember a few years
ago a so called woman friend invited me to a place of entertainment.
Well it turned out to be a show of scantily clad male entertainers. I
recall drinking nothing but Mimosas. I drank my share. I lost count with my tenth drink. Even so I was
still standing and even dancing a bit. Not well but still dancing.
Especially when everybody with the exception of us, were underage. They
should be complete teatotolers. Shame on you. I did like the way the
room was festooned with such colorful crepe, Emerald balloons. I wonder was green
subconsously chosen because we are leaving the girls for greener
pastures? Namely Mr. Pequots Reform School for Dastardly Bastards.
Whatever? Pretty in pink I say. Those tulip dresses for the young
ladies waiting for their two lips to be kissed by handsome beaus. I just
love the colorful makeup. It was a fest fit for a Bachanalia.
Whoever their pardners may be. If you'll pardon my expression. lol. The perfumes were an
olfactory delight. Such sophistication in scents. The sweet smell of
success was in the air. A little tongue and cheek humor. Oh Auntie
Carol, you are so cheeky.