Lady Lynda is excited about the New Direction of Her Talks

Lady Lynda while slowly savoring her warm jasmine teaat the breakfast table with her husband Seymour announces a major change in her talks. “I am going to give talks on online marketing With so many internet marketers I’m certain I’ll find people interested. What do you think of my briliant idea Seymour”

Her husband looked at her wide eyed in shock. “What makes you an expert on such popular topics. You never did any markeing , net or otherwise in your life”

His wife’s once confident pose was now slipping into one of defensiveness. Her posture slumped in near close to utter defeat. She bit her lip and replied “I’ll do research” The wwww is known for being a hub of research” she commented defensively.

“Well I wish you well if you can do it”

“I’m certain I can do it” she respondeddeternminely. I’ll be talking about web site promotion , all the ins and outs of getting visitors to your site. Netmarketers will love me”
“Well I know I sure love you Lady Lynda my sweet darling better half. When will you commence with your tour? ” Seymoure asked excitedly.

“O’ll start as soon as I properly prep for this most pertinent talk ever in my career.”

Hot Digity High End Haut Dogs

Seymour Toze eyes widened with wonderment as he gazed at the rustic interior of the Hautdogs restaurant. The place looked as grand as the finest steak houses in NYC. Toze stared at the high domed ceiling. He grinned with delight at the modern teak wood chairs and tables. Sophisticated yet comfy he thought. The full high end liquor cabinet he noticed was the same kind of wood as the chairs. He reflected how the sameness gave the place a sense of stylish unity.

He sweetly smiled at his wife. “Yes my darling Lady Lynda. I noticed Foot from us is the fully stocked wine cellar. It’s filled with the most sophisticated windes from NY state, Napa Valley California, France, Italy, Spain. You know foot from us reminds of my pedicures.I love its formal wear only. A tie is appreciated but not required. And women must wear either a dress or a skirt and blouse or top. No sneakers. Heaven forbid. No ruffians here ”

“His wife Lady Lynda gushed “Yes No male teens exposing their gluteous maximus” We deserve to be here you and I. We earned our right to imbibe the delectable hautdogs and potent potables. Both of us paid our dues. I am so proud of you suggesting we dine here. My love, Seymour Toze. They serve brats but they don’t serve brats” Lady Lynda chuckled at her witticism

“Only purist of intentions for you my dear. Out of all the fine dining one can pick I’m convinced it was the right choice The décor the epitomy of sophistication. The cuisine is superb Why should we eat elsewhere?” Toze asked rhetorically.

This place received rave reviews.No wonder its so crowded” as she quickly perused the many occupied tables and vermillion leather and polished wood booths.

“If someone doesn’t come over I’ll be raving mad Lady Lynda snapped in a ladylike manner. The service here is as slow as dial up internet. Its the world wide wait staff wait” she fumed.

“Remember patience is a virtue. The chef and cooks want the hautdogs, wieners and brats to be completely delectable.. This place is to hotdogs as is steak sandwich is to steak.” Seymour.

“I’m truly looking forward to getting into my mouth six inches of juicy succulent,firm hautdog.” mentioned Lady Lynda licking her lips with joyful anticipation.

“Seymour I’m only describing my jubilance in sinking my teeth into such meaty tasty hautdogs. ”

“I just wish I could get some waitress attention.” sighed Seymour Toze.

“Why did you insist on waitress? The waiters are as competent.”? queried Lady Lynda a bit miffed.

“Okay waitress, waiter, waitperson, waitstaff, whatever” Perusing this sophisticated menu is making me famished

Seymour Toze chose the Deluxe Ethan’s Famous with authentic baseball park mustard, classic pickle relish. His wife chose the vegan Chorizo Weiner on the whole wheat roll. They both thought it was so delightful there were vegan hautdogs on the menu for those inclined.

Soon their orders came. The couple thought the entrees looked scrumptious. They quickly said grace and dug in.

“Oh Seymour I am thoroughly enjoying eating my haut dog” Lady Lynda mumbled between tasty morsels of sheer enjoyment. Seymour Toze wholeheartedly thought the same as he bit into each succulent bite. They were so pleased with their meal they eagerly wanted to go back as soon as possible.
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Seymour shows his concern for his wife.

It was the early evening when there was still some sunlight Seymour enters the boidoir. He immediately notices his wife clad in her pink wool and lace trimmed nightgown slumped over the rose pink upholstered chair. Her bedclothes falling haphazardly over her somewhat plump form. He tiptoes quietly as to not disturb her He doesn’t know his wife is upset with Walker graduating.

Seymour “What is the matter darling? Why so glum. Why such a long face. ” Lady Lynda slowly looks up taking very effort she could to lift her head. “Its Dan D. I am so full of mixed feelings for him. Not to worry dear Seymour. I don’t mean romantic ones. I’m talking about how close I was to him as a friend and now he is stepping out on his own . Yes part of me realizes its because of my mentoring. Its only myself to blame.”

think you need this: With that he warmly embraced her. “Lets get through this together. I trust we can work this out for the good of both of us” declared Seymour. His wife looked at with the slightest glint of optimism in her dusky blue eyes. She wished it was easier to feel more optimistic. Yet she was still determined to make a go of her trying situation. She gazed at the high dome ceiling as if for a sign. She pounded her chest, Wailed “I feel so guilty . I should be happy Dan D. Walker is independent but as the song says all I do is cry” Seymour warmly hugged his mate. Maybe the cool breeze will let us come with a new perspective. Every time I step outside I feel my mental clarity is much sharper. Its as if the air is giving my brain a boost. I’ll bring my laptop.. Maybe I could get inspired what to do by checking our emails” exclaimed Lady Lynda They soon check their emails. The couple instantly notices a message on both their accounts, inviting them to a romantic couples retreat in a nearby fancy suburb. /I’m not interested in a couples retreat” snapped Lady Lynda at a time like this.” Seymour exclaimed “its times like these where its the best time to join such an event. But I do respect your feelings. Yet I truly believe its best for us both.”That meant one thing. Her husband was insistant and the only thing to do was to give in to his wishes. Resistance was futile. She believed it was her wifely duty to please her husband.
The next thing they knew they were part of a casual competition at the retreat on who could remember how they first met. The other couples gleefully ran down the moments they encountered each other as best as they reccalled. Most of the times it was at a blind date or a picnic or a party or some other sundry place.
Lady Lynda started out explaining the way she and Seymour first laid eyes on each other. “It was at our high school swim class. You see our upper school was year round with three week vacations every 3 months. Please don’t feel sorry for us. In the summer besides the regular classes there was tennis and swimming. It was one time when I got out of the pool this sweet shy boy saw me in my two piece swimming suit. I wondered what he was looking at when I saw his head was down. Then he walked up to me and told me. He was enamored by my toes. I was taken aback but then he seemed so sincere, so earnest I just thought it was okay. The other couples began to chuckle. Seymour’s face turned lobster red.

“Please let me explain I mean defend myself” “Okay we’re here to hear your side ” the middle aged balding, affable host smirked. “Good idea” replied Toze. Thanks for giving me a chance to give my side of the story. I was very shy back then I was a new student. I was in a private school about 50 miles north of that high school. By the way we called it upper school but I that;s beside the point. I only know that when I finally looked up and saw Lynda’s face with her cute little upturned nose, her unmatching eyes, blue and hazel and her cupid bow lips I knew right then and there she was the woman for me. As you can see I was right. I proudly stand here as Lady Lynda’s loving husband Seymour Toze.” With that statement Lady Lynda embraced her husband and gave him a big juicy kiss on her mate’s mouth and he did likewise as the crowd cheered the loving couple. Seymour whispered to his wife “How do you feel about Dan D. now?” “I feel fine. Knowing you truly love me is good enough for me.” “Its good enough for me too” joyously responded Mr Seymour Toze.

Dan D. Walker and Desiree go to Lady Lynda’s Lecture of how to networking for Newbies”

Dan D. Walker and Desiree Lee go to Lady Lynda’s Talk on network marketi

The cavernouus room’s stucco walls were painted an off kilter white. The not quite white gave the space an uneasy atmosphere. The place was immaculate.The linoleum floor was white,black and scarlet linoleum floor. The building where the room was was situated between the local city hall and the municipal police station. Nearby was the main chain book store. The interior of the room with its rows of sturdy metal and leather seat chairs was one of firm orderliness. As if it held power over whoever was in it.

The patrons loudly clapped in anticipation for Lady Lynda Mae Hoffenfetter Toze. Dan D. Walker and his lady friend sat near the front. Dan D. wore a periwinkle blue paisley silk shirt underneath a silver hued fancy vest . His leather belt bucket was oversized in gold leaf wwth a silhoette of Texas. His blue jeans went well with his slate grey wool tuxedo jacket. His outfit was complete with his black thin bolero tie. On his head he proudly wore a genuine Stetson hat. His boots were complete with real spurs and were of real rattlesnake skin. Walker wanted to make certain he could hear his mentor’s every word so he could show Desiree Lee exactly. how smart Lady Lynda was.

Desiree Lee Meriweather’s dress was mid way between her knees and ankles. It’s material was that of cotton and lace. There was a print of pink and powder blue little flowers. Her full length sleeves ended in frilly Belgian lace. Her neck line was trimmed the same way . It consisted of six buttons so she could be as prim or daring as she chose. Her choice was to be sexy and a lady.

The people there including Dan D and Desiree were chomping at the bit to hear the networking for newbies talk commence. Walker put his manly arm around his lady friend’s slender sloping shoulders. The woman took a confident breath and swung her slender arm over his brawny right shoulder

”Good evening ladies and gentlemen My talk is on the issue of network marketing on a budget for newbies I will briefly discuss social networking, video sites, forums. Some free and cheap ways to promote your business site is utilizing social networks such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat and especially LInkedin I mean the last one especially geared toward business promotion and networking. Plus its free to join I strongly urge you to do so. As for the others they’re important to be members too. In Facebook you can make a page for your firm. I’d get as many friends as possible. I’d start out with family and friends you know offline and build a base from that. Facebook pages with no friends I tend to think are scammers. I’m certain I’m not the only who who feels that way. Instagram and Snapchat you can promote your commercial endeavors. The issue with Twitter its great for soundbites. I mean tweets that are pithy and get one’s attention.

One can join forums. You should only join forums with a genuine interest. Support groups can be handy too. Plus groups such as one’s on Google, Yahoo. What ever one’s you become a member if you can create your signature. That’s sig for short . Consistently include your URL. If you can’t include you’re URL don’t be a part of it. Same with sites with editorials , reports any place you can leave a comment. Luckily thre is a nifty little program called “Disqus” Many web sites where you can comment are members of Disqus. Warning there are trolls so that’s the downside Conversely you may get upvoted and even complimented. Its an individual decision whether to comment in a comment section”

The very next moment a young houligan shouted “Why should we listen to an old fuddy duddy like you” Lady Lynda quipped “Nobody forced you to come here you scalliwag”
Scalliwag? What!!! Are we in the 1950s.” retorted the heckler.

“I’ve seen every dang thing but this sure takes the cake. Especially when all Lady Lynda is doing is trying to people who network improve their networking strategies. I got to do something about this.
‘Yes Dan This experience is leaving a sour taste in my mouth”
‘Cut out you hooligans, you scoundrels. You are the most uncouth folk Ahhh ever did see.”
‘Mind your own beeswax ’ one goth young woman said. . ‘I was being amused. I was having a fine time.’
‘Gosh dern you young lady this is my business.. You young folks don’t appreciate this kind, thoughtful woman trying her best to school ya. ”

The very next moment her husky six feet four boyfriend came marching over. Dan D. Walker got out his chair and rose to his full manly six feet four height. He gazed directly at the lady’s man The young man instantly knew when he was licked.

‘All right. I was trying to protect nmy good friend Lady Lynda. I’m be forever grateful she taught me to enunciate Clearly. Besides I’m here to learn about networking.
“That was the nicest thing you did did” replied Mrs Seymour Toze. ”
“Now lets listen to Lady Lynda’s talk in peace You might learn to be a better man and your lady friend a better, more considerate woman. ”

Lady Lynda smiled with gratitude and continued edifying the audience who were grateful for her edification.

Dan D. Walker gets the Surprise of his Life at the Gas Station

“I feel so thrilled  driving my chevy cruiser down the  highway” Daniel Delbert Walker exclaimed It feels so freeing to get in my car, go down the road without a care in the world. Just me and my sedan, Man oh man in a sedan that;s what I am and I’m feeling like a zillion bucks. The fresh air in my long hair and I don’t care. I’m in the open air and everything is wonderfully fair” declared Dan.

If there was a humdinger of a gal with me that’d be the frosting on the cake, Its the one time I feel satisfied is when I’m cruising on down the road. I don’t care where I’m going, I want to drive my car as long as I can. I’ll never get tired of the open road.

Three’s a gas station up a ways I see my gas gage just this side of half full I better stop here Its just a short drive to the self serve What do I see? She is some humdinger Dang she looks familiar. I sure wish I could place her, . Man how she moves she’s poetry in motion. Jimmy Clanton one of my favorite R&R singers. She’s looking my way. I can’ see she sure is purty but i can’t quite see exactly what she looks like. She’s only a few feet from me now Oh my gosh dern she’s Desire She looks like if she got the chance she’d tear my throat. CCan’t blame her. I was the one that threw her out of my place. I better finish getting my gas and get the heck on my way. Oh no she’s following me. What do I do now? ”

She’s yelling and screaming at me. Wha rotten luck to bump into Desiree. Shes telling me I’m a real varmint. Someday soon I’ll get my comeuppance. When I do she’ll the happiest gal in the world.

Yet when I look at her I get mixed emotions. She’s got a hankering to do me in but she changed a whole lot. She lost that extta weight. Her hair is done up so nicely. She’s dressed in an outfit that really shows up her terrific curse, Hot diggity I feel so strange I’m scared but she’s so mighty fine looking. ”

“Dan D Walker you sure done me wrong. Well I picked myself up and went for a self improvement program to forget about you. I figured if I lost enough weight, got in shape, read some self improvement books I’d forget you ever existed. But now that we meet again I’m willing to give you a second chance.”

“I’m feeling much relieved ” thought the Texan as he sighed to himself Maybe it’d be okay if I gave her one too. “Desiree let’s start anew”

Lady Lynda Expounds upon the Importance of being Considerate of the feelings for Networking Newbies

Lady Lynda Expounds upon her calling of saving the world through Etiquette
Lady Lynda, sitting on her rose pink divan, fanned herself to try to eliminate her vapors. The now celebrity etiquette expert was hard at work thinking up some bon mots for her upcoming lecture in Rose Tree PA. Roses enlivened her tender sensibilities. The flowers of love. Yet as she polished her tidbits she basks in the glow of her splendid tour. She at last finds her true calling. She will talk about how utterly important decorum is in virtually every situation. Especially in networking. Since consideration for other’s feelings, views is crucial in networking, It is essential for men and women to be mannerly. The worst fault was to be uncouth.  Be consistently  couth.

With her fountain pen , Mrs Seymour Toze begins to write in an elegant Elegant Edwardian Scrip;t ITC script her notes The very idea of using a word program on her computer was so plebian.

The earnest woman solumnly reminds herself to  say the following at her talk. To even mention, let alone sing the “Band” song by Levon Helm “Stage Fright” to any performer would be the height of cruelty. These are such sensitive souls. Those poor dears with their rapacious fans. It would be the height of disrespect. Speaking of that word, never mention height to a little person. That phrase rubs it in that they’re vertically challenged. On the other extreme, the height of considerateness is to be sensitive to other’s feelings.  They might think you’re rubbing it in. Don’t egive a dwarf short shrift.

The proud woman stood as tall as she could with her five feet one frame. At least she made it pass the minimal requirements of the civil rights group fo short statured persons. But there for the grace of the LORD she poured her heart to those who were less fortunate than her, heightwise. My point is respect for one’s feelings are important. And that includes when you’re talking to a business client too. Businesses are made of people and virtually every person wants to be treated with respect and consideration for their feelings.

“This may seem quite quaint to you young men and woman here. I believe couples should be celibate before marriage. Remember no hanky panky. She waved her index finger at them. A quick kiss on the cheek is fine but please don’t get out of line. A chaste kiss on the lips. And other tips. A gentle embrace as you gaze at each others face.

One impudent young man stood up. He shouted “Isn’t that from a song by “Three Dog Night?”
Lady Lynda looked confused. She wondered what the chap was referring to. What did the American and Irish band do with celibacy. She looked puzzled. The man who was showed such impudence began singing “Celibate, celibate, dance to the music.”

“No, no that’s not it at all. I fear you don’t know what I mean. she proclaimed indignantly. For your edification it means…I know what it means dearie. I was only joking with you. Can’t you take a joke? “I can’t take rudeness, disrespect. Getting back to what I was saying. Two people in a relationship should refrain from consumating it before becoming man and wife.”

“Every romantic twosome should respect each others chastity. Young ladies I think we talk honestly I feel you should draw the line. She touches her neck. Not here and certainly not there” With that sentiment and feeling she educated the crowd she walks off with a self confident smile on her pert pink lips. She beams with pride as she exits the stage with thunderous applause.


Lady Lynda Mae Hoffenfetter Toze fondly reflected on what she was grateful for. She was happily married to her highschool sweetheart. Over all her days were definitely on the plus side. Now if only her she didn’t wear plus size clothes. Then she would definitely be on the right track. She sighed as she thought of how she tracked down a fine man for herself and most definitely vice versa Seymour Toze. The name , the woman mused fit him well being he was a pedicurist at the local shoe store.

Lady Lynda looked at her reflection in the mirror, while reflecting on how she could exercise more on some modern manual exerciser. Then her dream of being perfectly pert would at last come true. With that goal in mind, Seymour Toze’s wife vowed she’d purchase a mini home gym. She felt better knowing she was doing something toward her goal of getting fit. Suddenly she heard the front door open Knowing it was her mate, the woman gleefully opened the door.

“Oh Seymour I am so grateful to be your wife. You’ll be so glad you’ll be seeing less of me. I’m be in shape for you and me.

“How Callous of Seymour Toze”

How Callous of Seymour Toze.

Seymour Toze couldn’t help hearing a woman’s strident voice. He struts toward the stockroom of “Into Leather” shoe store. As he turns around to sees who she is. Judging by her booming voice, he pictures her as being fiftyish, full figured to put it tactfully. When hesees her , Seymour discovers he was pretty much right. He figured she would be dressed conservatively. To his surprise her clothes were rather loud and conspicuously youth oriented. She looked as if she raided her teenager’s closet. She wore a wool sweater with colors of royal blue, scarlet, deep purple and other bold hues that would light up even the darkest night. Her jeans were form fitting stretched over her good sized hips. She wore sandals. Her clothing choice made as much , to Seymour, as wearing a gown to a fast food place.

“Never the less, however she is dressed, I wonder if she wants me to be of service to her. Yes we do our best to please the customers here.”

It was close to closing time. There wern’t that many customers there. A few couples and their small children and some women shopping together. It was clear the new woman could get the servicing she needed. She walked down the aisle directly to Seymour.

“Sir I read on the sign outside , you do pedicures here. I’m hoping you can cure me of this really painful callous near the heel of my right foot. Its really killing me. Okay…you know what I mean. Oh its so callous lol.”

Seymour Toze heard her tittering laugh and knew from the sound she was bravely putting on a happy face in the midst of a tad discomfort.

“Yes they are done there and I’m the one to do them. Please sit down in a nearby chair.”

She sat down. The shoe salesman immediately sat down directly in front of her with one knee up, as if he were proposing. The woman gushed as she noticed his gesture. She then groaned as if she were greatly pained.

“What can I do for you” he asked

“Oh this callous is so painful. It really hurts when I walk. Can you get rid of it for me. I’d be so ever grateful.”

“My pleasure ” Toze replies with a joyful smile The customerknew he meant exactly what he meant pleasure.

She removes her right sandal and Seymour Toze instantly saw what she was referring to. There it was splotchy, creamy yellow in color and outright gorgeous. Seymour never recalled seeing such a fine specimen. It would be a delight to work with her. Her callous was glorious. It was the Mona Lisa of callouses. He was so happy he went to work today. This woman’s problem was his pleasure and he was thrilled.

He didn’t want his treatment to end but he was a professional. He performed a massage with tea tee oil, a vigorous rubdown with soothing calendula and finished off with a pumice stone. It did the trick, the woman sighed a deep sigh of relief, smiled joyously and thanked him.

Lady Lynda Dreams of when she first met Seymour.

Lady Lynda and her spouse Seymour Toze enjoy cuddling next to each on their plush orchid hued love seat Lady Lynda reflects on how sensual orchids are Seymour in the meantime about Wanda On of the singers at the “Ponderosa Stomp” He thought of how her first name could be the start of “I wanda be your woman.” Toze sighs and breaths heavily as he gets close to his wifey, He embraces her in a tight squeeze and his mate squeals with delight Lady Lynda in turn reciprocates with appreciative hugs as she wraps her arms around Seymour’s manly chest.

Lady Lynda lets out a sigh as she basks in the total satisfaction of being so physically close to her love rman. She beams as she reminds herself her lover man is now her married to her. She is so happy and feeling so secure she falls asleep in his arms. Toze gently rubs her hair and smiles. It feels so wonderful to know that they are close to each other. The married couple gaze in delight at each other.

“gosh I’m in my high school swimming class Just a moment ago I was cuddling with my sweetiepie Seymour in our love seat. And now I’m sixteen years old wearing my little fishes two piece bathing suit. There’s a little skirt that just skims my upper thigh on the bottom part. I look so saucy in it. I was pretty svelte then Ah such is the wonders of youth. The girls and boys are waiting to go into the Olympic size pool. Its a private prep school on the Mainline , western suburbs of Philadelphia PA. Its summer and we are really, really looking forward to submerging our hot bodies in the cool wet, refreshing water.”

“In the corner of my eye I see a pleasant looking male student. He is looking down to the pavement. His staring looks intense to me. I’m starting to at least wonder what why he is so fascinated by the grounds we are on. I’d like to ask him but he seems so unapproachable. Its like he’s so lost into what he’s seeing. Wish I know how to draw near to him. I notice the other boys are ignoring him That intrigues me. I wonder what his background is. Why he is here at the private school.

He slowly raises his head. Looking straight at me he tells me he thinks my epicanthic folds on the inner corners of my eyes look exotic and my different colored eyes even more so. I gush at him. I bashfully thank him. I tell him sincerely I like his warm smile. His chestnut brown wavy hair goes well with his honey brown eyes. Right then and there I knew we were meant for each other. He I dreamed of meeting a girl like you ever since I spent two years at Mid Eastern PA Prep. It was a special school for kids like me. Like me I mean boys and girls with idiosyncrasies.”

“Lady Lynda you look rested Did you dream anything?” gleefully asks Seymour. “I dreamed when we first laid eyes on each other in that fateful swim class in the prep school.”? “Ah yes that was as pivotal moment for both of us” replied her husband.