Yippie Ki Ay!!! News about Upcoming Rodeo. Cheap Flight to Dallas. Texas Steak restaurant






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Lady Lynda and Seymour Toze snuggle together on their love seat as they watched their absolute favorite afternoon talk show. They love the perky , personable blonde hostess The couple laughed at the television woman’s monologue. Next they heard the guests and topics. Seymour and Lady Lynda heard there would be highlights of a real rodeo in Dallas TX.

“I RECALL darling There’s going to be a local rodeo“Yes it is.Id be fun to go us two.’ Seeing those cowboys, bronkin[ bulls, clowns and all that thrilling rodeo stuff”
“Yippee eye kay aye the rodeo!!!! yell the couple gleefully . Now is their chance. Seymour Toze proclaims I don't recall feeling this exciting since my first pedicure woman customer. I'm as thrilled as you are "gushes Lady Lynda. "As thrilled as seeing Dan. D. Walker talk clearly with my help" He immediately comes to mind when I hear rodeo. "Seeing real cowboys with genuine fancy carved leather boots They pictur horses running wild on the dirt floor. The cowboys lasso those calves as quickly as Seymour Toze’s beady eyes eye the toes of his female pedicure customers.

Lady Lynda and the love of her sighed a sigh of relief when their cheap flight safely reached the local airport/ From tnere it was a short "Uber" ride to the rodeo. Seymour Toze sat at the middle tier row. The two thought it was a terrific unobstructed view. They were glad too they bought binoculars just in case. Lady Lynda tried to stifle her disapproval when she couldn’t help noticing how Seymour was quite interested in the curvaceous female drum majorettes in their rather skimpy cowgirl outfits. Seymour immediately noticed his honey’s disapproval. He started to put his left arm around her while with his right arm holding the binoculars. "Awww honey baby its only a show.” “Yes its that’s all it should be “ snaps his wife.

The twosome saw Native American men and women in full regalia including colorful headdresses with beautiful colorful plumes. Next came the Cowboys on their majestic black steeds. There were the clowns too giving the show a silly yet fun flavor. Th first act came out looking like they were chomping at the gate, the bronco riders. They looked no more then their late teens. Some of their skills were truly mpressive. They gave everyone who saw them they were practicing their rodeo skills since they were knee high to that proverbial grasshopper. Like they were little enough to look up to Jiminy Cricket
Lady Lynda noticed one of the bronco riders was somewhat older then the rest. She began to look at him more closely. As she did the woman immediately noticed it was Dan. D.Walker. The woman couldn’t believe her eyes. The man she met at the “World’s Oldest Freak Show” The man who virtually everyone in Intercourse PA thought was so exotic because they never heard a Texan accent before. There he was on that bull riding him like a pro. The couple noticed how when the bull dipped forward , Walker would lean backwards. When the animal rose on his two feet, his rider would bend down. It was a joy to behold such symmetry. At least the ride was over and Dan D. Walker shouted Yippee kay Eye as he jumped off victorious.

He then looked up and saw the Tozes. He ran over. Pumped up with victory, to where his friends sat, he smiled and waved at them. It was such a great feeling to see his old pals. Lady Lynda and Seymour Toze. The couple waved and smiled back. It was a terrific way to end the day at the rodeo. They all celebrated at the Grand View Steak Restaurant."

Dan D. Walker Misadventure at the “Long Horn Grand Motel”

Dan D. Walker swaggered into his room at the “Long Horn Grand Motel” in Tyler TX . He smiled as he noticed the rough hewn furniture. He liked the raw hide comfy seats The rustic bed and firm mattress,pillows was to his joyful eyes the height of comfort. The warm crimson , sunny yellows and raw umber was the perfect color combination

Dan D. Walker suddenly noticed a soapy wash pail leaning against the wide screen TV in his hotel. He assumed it was the maid’s. Dan. D. recalled his dear mother taught to always be of help to others. He decided to walk to the hotel lobby to tell the management about the pail. Walker figured he’d enjoy exploring the place where he stayed. Besides it would be much more personable to go in person vs calling on his room’s phone.

The Texan delighted in seeing the original George Caitlin Old West paintings on the cream colored walls of his hotel room. It felt good walking on the plush carpet in his hotel room. Plus observing the stylish decor. wa It felt wonderful he was staying in such a grand, comfortable hotel.

Dan D. took a deep breath and breathed the wondrous scent of woodsy, spicy cedar/ It reminded him of the cedar closet when he was a little boy back in Flugleville Texas.

He grinned as he thought of how much was so changed in his life. From a lowly freak to staying in a fancy hotel. The one woman he was most thankful for was Lady Lynda Mae Hoffenfetter toze. It was she who transformed him into what he is now, an air traffic controller. What a major responsibility he beamed.

Suddenly Dan was startled by a loud raspy female voice. “Hey you handsome dude whatcha doin here? Walker turned around to see who was there. His eyes opened wide as he stared at the gaudy woman. She was dressed in faux leather cowgirl boots with little silver stars as spurs. She wore a plaid gingham shirt and an A shaped denim skirt. Her loud make up, intense cherry lips, peacock blue eye shado He recalled in high school a female student painted her face like that. The boys would tease her and say it’s not Halloween.

“I’m Desiree Lee Meriweather. I knew you were my man when I first struck my pretty sky blue eyes on you. Moment you stepped into the hotel with your fancy genuine leather Texan style leather boots. I could tell Icame here at “Long Horn” about a week ago I’m newly divorced but now I’m wikth you big hunk of a real man”

Her loud nasely voice pierced his ear drums as painfully as any ear piercing sans anesthetic. Walker turned to and sighed when he saw the road filled rushing vehicles. If only there was a chance to flee from her clutching arms.

Making a mad dash It wasn’t long until her portly body collided with Dan.D. Falling on his backside The Texan struggle to get erect. It was not just his pride that was hurt. The corpulent woman wa on top of him. His head ached and his body was as sore as an old work horse who The last time he recalled such pain was he fell on a pin cushion.

Just then his eyes opened wide as he recognized her. She was the woman at the Black Tie and Stetson ball.

“Yes I’m that woman. I felt so neglected when you left with that hussy the only way I could comfort myself was to constantly eat cherry and dark chocolate Bon Bons. Its because of you, you brute that I’m so fat. You should be filled with shame Dan retorted “I didn’t force those Bon Bons.”

“If you’ll be close with me, ….real close I’ll stop eating those Bon Bons) Marry me Dan. D. Walker.!!!”
“Gosh tarnation. Dang Desiree Lee Meriweather. You are one heck of a piece of work. You horny oversized tart. Get out of here and never come back . Git!!! Walker waves goodbye at her as to hurry her off. His expression is total determination. Desiree knew there was nothing she could do but git.

Auntie Carol’s Easter






<"keyword Easter">Auntie Carol dressed in her Easter finest with matching rose pink handbag and likewise pearls humbly entered the church she regularly attends She smiles as she thinks of how her rose pink brocaded jacket and skirt reminds her of how He rose on that fateful first Easter The woman humbly walks down the good sized room to find a seat. Lady Lynda ‘s friend and fellow etiquette encourager was not surprised how crowded the place was. Easter she mused celebrated the resurecton of Jesus Christ If it wasn’t for that incident he would of been an ordinary man. That even made all the difference in the world. she solemnly reflects.

The Pastor of the church “Our Holy Redeemer Christian church as non sectarian. Auntie Carol thought that was most , most inclusive way for a Christian place of worship to be The woman discreetly sat down in a seat in one of the front pews. She was proud to be a believer.

Pastor Charles Goodman began his sermon. He waved his hands dramatically as he spoke of Mark Chapter 16 New American Standard Version Updated. The chapter on the Risen LORD He gritted his teeth and clenched his fist as he emphasized the significance of that most important Biblical text. The clergyman chose Mark as opposed to the other Gospels since Mark was the most direct in his writings He quickly got to the point

Pastor Goodman grandly recited Mark 15 …. “The Disciples Commissioned
14 Afterward He appeared to the eleven themselves as they were reclining at the table; and He reproached them for their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they had not believed those who had seen Him after He had risen. 15 And He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. 16 He who has believed and has been baptized shall be saved; but he who has disbelieved shall be condemned. 17 These signs will accompany those who have believed: in My name they will cast out demons, they will speak with new tongues; 18 they will pick up serpents, and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.”

The congregants reacted enthusiastically as the paster repeatedly shouted “He is risen” The words “Amen ad Praise the LORD Thank you Jesus wwere yelled through the rafters . Auntie Carol joined in gleefully. She was overjoyed she went to the services She thought of how spring was the perfect time for Easter Because oine meaning of spring ws to jump. to rise from the ground. Likewise the Redeemer rose on that crucial day
Afterwards Auntie Carol and her fellow male and female worshippers enjoyed a delightful tete a tete

Lady Lynda and Seymour Toz Seder

Lady Lynda and Seymour Toze’s Passover Seder.

Peseach Lady Lynda
“Feeing strange being in such an ultra orthodox servive. Out of place but loving the piety of the observation.
“I felt quitereluctant going to this ultra orthodox sedar but being a procrastinator this was the only one I could attend. As for the rest of the local seders there was no room or prices too high for yours truly. This synagogue “Temple Ruach” The space at the Jewish house of worship was a long , rectangle shape with a long table with rows of crystal dishes and goblets for the wine and other beverages. The parts of the meal before the main course was on a silver plated plate with divided section for each part of the premeal.
Unfortunately I wound up at the longest Seder I can remember. It felt as if it was interminable. When I thought the service was finally ended they started singing with gusto “Ninety Nine Bottles of Mogen David” on the wall Geesh Every verse was sung!!!!
I made certain I dressed for the occasion You know me I’m so much into dressing properly My loose fitting flannel navy dress was at least two inches below my knees. I wore long sleeves. I didn’t want show too much skin. Wouldn’t want to tempt the men there. Oh I did realize this iwas a religious service but men I know are still of the flesh. Even if most of them are engaged, with a girlfriend or married Besides Seymour was with me I am middle aged but I’m told I look much younger One can’t be too certain. The Gay and Lesbians couples and other participants participated too.
The ceremony was like any other Sedar. It started with the blessing In Hebrew the Kiddish. The Seder begins with the saying of Kiddush. It’s to bless this most sacred of Jewish days. Kiddish means holiness. When its said the Kiddush acknowledge the sacredness of this holy day The LORD is thanked that he bought the peopleto celebrate the holiday.
I felt a little tipsy once I drank the fourth wine cup of syrupy sweet Magen David. I’ve participated in other Seders so I knew it was the custom for each person’s cup to be filled by another participant The other person was a servant The cups were drunk as everyone reclined on their left side. Its suppose to symbolize luxury and majesty.
Then we went to the kitchen sink to wash our hands. Next the meal. It consisted of bitter herbs. In this case parsley dipped in salt water. The dipping was to represent the bitter tears of slavery in those years in Ancient Egypt. The Charosis was made of chopped nuts, chunky apple sauce That part of the meal was meant to remind the partakers there of the mortor.
We ate Matzah or Motzah if you prefer Its a kind of flat bread made from dough that doesn’t rise. The result is a crisp flatbread. This variety I could tell was totally vegan. Veganism seems to be the in thing these days. I never saw so many animal lovers ever in my dear life. I mean lovers enough not to eat them, I wasn’t surprised at all the main course was a lentil dish. It was hearty and very filling. Finally the blessing of the Pesach and well wishes for everyone there Seymour and I loved being there . With the wine, the delicious food, the friendliness of the people there it was a warm, hearty, meaningful celebration. Tooleloo. Here’s to my partner in arms and colleague Auntie Carol and her Easter celebration at her church “Church of Our Holy Redeemer”
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At the Italian Restaurant

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“Oh Seymour your royal blue worsted suit really brings out your deep sapphire eyes” gushed Lady Lynda.
“Lady Lynda my dearest one. Your pretty navy and white floral print cotton dress with the pert off shoulder wavy sleeves make you look the epitomy of graceful womanhood.
Seymour gazed quite pleased at his elegant wife. He felt a stirring in his heart but unfortunately he couldn’t tell if it was a hint of fondness, pride or hunger pangs.
It was a full 20 minutes. No waitperson was there to serve them their meals.
Lady Lynda looked throughout the eatery for someone to serve them. As she perused the establishment she noticed how the delightful photos of the old country charm of Italy. There were photographs of a male gondolier on a boat with tourists in Venice. There was one of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. There were the busy streets of elegant Rome.
The couple relished their closeness on the cozy leather seats. The square table was the perfect size. The fresh-cut deep red roses in the center was the right touch for a Valentine’s day lunch.
“Oh Seymour this is such a fine dining place. The waitpeople are so helpful Do you know what you want to order?
“No not yet. I’m still perusing this delightful menu. Let’s see. Hamburger con fromaggio. Flat Italian framaggio pies.
“Everything here looks so delectable. How in the world do they make such delicacies.”
“This restaurant is highly recommend by gourmands.” commented Toze.
Without much ado the couple ordered the Valentine Special , two Steak Pizzeola oozing with fresh tomato sauce made with chunky tomatoes, sizzling onions and drizzled with pungent garlic on a long Italian bread roll.
Ten minutes later the meal came. When Lady Lynda looked up at the server she thought he looked rather familiar Then as she glanced at him she realized he was the man who flirted with her at the New Age Book Shop two weeks earlier. She remembered his aquamarine eyes eagerly fluttering at her. She nervously recalled how he blurted out adoring her long gold discs necklace. He called her girlfriend. She beamed such a colorful man was interested in her. The woman currently felt her heart sink. Seymour’s wife dearly wondered how to handle the touchy situation. Especially when Seymour’ looked so concerned.
The waiter politely told the couple he hoped they enjoyed their meals. He gave no hint of his earlier encounter with Lady Lynda, Toze’s wife wondered why that was. It was only less than a week since her encounter with him. But she admitted she was relieved he didn’t let on their flirty experience at the New Age Book Store. Then as the waiter left he slyly winked at Lady Lynda as if to say “Let’s keep our secret. It was a charming interlude” Lady Lynda was grateful his behavior revealed a true gentleman.

Lady Lynda’s Purim Observance.

Lady Lynda observes Purim Jewish holiday commenerating the Bibical story of Esther.Lady Lynda’s feelings were quite mixed. The woman thought of how festive Purim was Lady Lynda felt a slight touch of guilt looking forward to the Festival of Lots festivities at Bnai Emanual Reform.
Seymour Toze’s wife gleamed as she recalled the last few years of the Jewish holiday at Bnai Emmanual. The woman beamed as she pictured the congregation children putting on their yearly Purim play. The prettiest preteen girl would play Esther. Her doting , caring uncle Mordecai would be portrayed by a thirteen year old boy slightly taller than the girl for Esther. King Ashurasus and Arch villian Hamen were to be acted by other pre-teen boys at the Bnai Emmanual synagogue. They would act out the eternal Biblical story the book of Esther. The Persian king’s wife disrespecting himHer husband couldn’t tolerate her wickedness. The Persian leader created a contest to find the best woman for his new wifeEsther wins the beauty contest sans the king knowing her origins. Meanime Mordecai believing he shouldn’t bow down to anyone except the LORD refuses to bow down to Hamen Hamen is incensed .He orders Esther’s uncle to be hung on the gallows. He states he’ll slay every Jew in Persia. Esther tries to tell her royal husband. Her mate tells her he can’t break an order.He can make a new one countering the original proclaimation He permits the Jews to fight back.Result is the happy ending of the Jews victorious in preventing disaster The entire crowd cheering Esther and booing nefarious Haman. Clapping and cheeriing the villian getting his commuppence .Lady Lynda looked eagerly forward to the latest Purim party.She gushed with delight as she gleefully anticipated the story of Esther play given by the kids of the synagogue. There she was the next day at Bnai Emmanual for the Purim fest. Lady Lynda and her husband SeymourToze happily found a seat near the front row. They were so glad the temple was reform and the women and men could sit together. It looked to the Toze’s both the grownups and the kids were joyfully anticipating the show.

The couple and other members soon saw how the kids really hammed it up as they once more demonstrated to the congragation the story of Esther and Purim their parents The grownups kvelled, gushed with pride. The costumes,especially Eshter;s beautiful emerald green dress with its turquoise and gold glued on sequins truly made the sweet little girl playing the heroine looked genuinely like a princess The members of the synogogue delighted in booing the villian Hamen. They cheered on seeing the loving heroism of the boy playing Mordechai It was a fine time for everyone celebrating the festival proving the providence of the LORD Rabbi Samual Bernstein thanked everyone and wished them a happy , joyous Purim.

Lady Lynda and her mate Seymour Toze Valentine Miracle

Lady Lynda and her mate Seymour Toze ‘s Valentines Day.
Could of been a lot better The one positive note was Lady Lynda was glad it wasn’t her fault the landline was on the blink. At least Seymour couldn’t blame her Still her marital partner yelled and screamed over the phone predictament. He wrung his hands as he cursed the phone company for doing this to him on the most romantic day of the year. His woman stood there patiently for she knew in his state of mind there was no comforting him. She could only wait patiently for him to show some semblance of calming down.

The woman could see that wasn’t any time soon. Seymour was gritting his teeth, his face in a contored grimace of rage and disgust. His feet stomping loudly to show his fury. His expression one of pure impatience.
Lady Lynda couldn’t blame Seymour for being so upset. Phones are , after all a major component of communications. Luckily there was still the cell phone. But still , Murphy’s Law, of all days, Valentine’s Day for the telephone to go on the blink. Plus since they were bundled together, there was no internet either. The good was there were no distractions. That is if Seymour was up to getting close on a day like this. Even more upsetting the phone company told Toze the telephone could not be fixed until Tuesday. This was Wednesday. Plus they gave him the runaround what the cause of the elimination of service. Lady Lynda sincerely complimented her mate’s assertiveness. It made her feel so proud of him.
The problem was Seymour was way too upset to get in the mood for Valentine’s Day Forget about dining at a romantic restaurant. He just wasn’t up to it. The most Lady Lynda’s husband was up to eating at was the local branch of a nationwide pizza chain.

The “Into Leather:” shoe salesman and pedi curist wife reflected at least the place served Italian. The woman deemed only cuisine from sunny Italy was appropiate for the holiday of love. Even if the eatery was from a nationwide casual eatery. Next year she hoped they would celebrate day of romance be dining at a sophisticated tratoria. At least Lady Lynda smiled happily at the end of the lunch as her spouse very gingerly shared some gooey dark chocolate brownies with her For the special occasion the restaurant served the brownies in a crimson heart shaped box. At least that was Valentine day of him the woman thought as she smacked her lips biting into the delectable desert. Seymour despite his concern over his phone enjoyed the sweet treat too.
Lady Lynda figured her man was too distraught over the phone to be in the mood to get close. It would be getting into her flannel nightgown , turn off the lights and go go bed There was absolutely nothing for her to think otherwise.
Just then as they came home, the landline phone rang. Toze’s wife felt it was a Valentine miracle. The couple’s mood instantly lifted A weight was lifted. The couple immediately got in the mood to be close. It was a wonderful intimate closeness.

Next week they would go out This time Toze would pick the dining spot. In a week a second chance to make up for the pretty dismal Valentine’s Day. Well at least there was the “miracle” of the phone being fixed. They were both grateful for that.
Lady Lynda and her mate Seymour Toze Valentines Day.
Could of been a lot better The one positive note was Lady Lynda was glad it wasn’t her fault the landline was on the blink. At least Seymour couldn’t blame her Still her marital partner yelled and screamed over the phone predictament. He wrung his hands as he cursed the phone company for doing this to him on the most romantic day of the year. His woman stood there patiently for she knew in his state of mind there was no comforting him. She could only wait patiently for him to show some semblance of calming down.

The woman could see that wasn’t any time soon. Seymour was gritting his teeth, his face in a contored grimace of rage and disgust. His feet stomping loudly to show his fury. His expression one of pure impatience.
Lady Lynda couldn’t blame Seymour for being so upset. Phones are , after all a major component of communications. Luckily there was still the cell phone. But still , Murphy’s Law, of all days, Valentine’s Day for the telephone to go on the blink. Plus since they were bundled together, there was no internet either. The good was there were no distractions. That is if Seymour was up to getting close on a day like this. Even more upsetting the phone company told Toze the telephone could not be fixed until Tuesday. This was Wednesday. Plus they gave him the runaround what the cause of the elimination of service. Lady Lynda sincerely complimented her mate’s assertiveness. It made her feel so proud of him.
The problem was Seymour was way too upset to get in the mood for Valentine’s Day Forget about dining at a romantic restaurant. He just wasn’t up to it. The most Lady Lynda’s husband was up to eating at was the local branch of a nationwide pizza chain.

The “Into Leather:” shoe salesman and pedi curist wife reflected at least the place served Italian. The woman deemed only cuisine from sunny Italy was appropiate for the holiday of love. Even if the eatery was from a nationwide casual eatery. Next year she hoped they would celebrate day of romance be dining at a sophisticated tratoria. At least Lady Lynda smiled happily at the end of the lunch as her spouse very gingerly shared some gooey dark chocolate brownies with her For the special occasion the restaurant served the brownies in a crimson heart shaped box. At least that was Valentine day of him the woman thought as she smacked her lips biting into the delectable desert. Seymour despite his concern over his phone enjoyed the sweet treat too.
Lady Lynda figured her man was too distraught over the phone to be in the mood to get close. It would be getting into her flannel nightgown , turn off the lights and go go bed There was absolutely nothing for her to think otherwise.
Just then as they came home, the landline phone rang. Toze’s wife felt it was a Valentine miracle. The couple’s mood instantly lifted A weight was lifted. The couple immediately got in the mood to be close. It was a wonderful intimate closeness.

Next week they would go out This time Toze would pick the dining spot. In a week a second chance to make up for the pretty dismal Valentine’s Day. Well at least there was the “miracle” of the phone being fixed. They were both grateful for that.

Lady Lynda Encounters the Local Curmudgeon Erasmus Nutley

Lady Lynda noticed the vast majority of her neighbors readily signed the protest letter. The one notable exception was the local curmudgeon who dastardly insisted on reading what was in the protest form. Seymour Toze’s wife fanned herself as she hyperventilated at Erasmus’s gall. Yet she was still determined for him to to sign. She would use her charm she confidently decided.
Lady Lynda remembered the saying hope springs eternal. She smiled as she reminisced about that 70s star, actress Hope Lange. She then starting humming the nonsense chorus of “He’s so fine.” She sang ” Do lang. Do lang.: That led to her reminiscing when her sister and her saw the radical psychiatrist R. D. Laing. They sang to the tune of the chorus of “He’s so Fine” RD Laing RD Laing that handsome shrink over there . The one with the wavy hair. It made her chuckle. How they both possessed a sense of humor. Nutley certainly didn’t. Lady Lynda reflected how she first noticed his sour disposition when she first met him. She recalled the situation was to see if he’d sign a petition in protest of Lothario Nicolas Venire. The man who painted his home so garish. Venire’s decoration consisted of two foot square “Sponge Bob Square Pants” pictures. Their backgrounds were of various pastels. This was Nick’s way of getting even with Lady Lynda for leaving him for her husband Seymour Toze. Who happened to be a freelance fashion photographer of women in open toed shoes Her recollecting sorely reminded her that one of the many faults of Erasmus Nutley was his lack of desiring romantic encounters . For that matter any personal relationships. Yes thought Lady Lynda He was truly his own best friend. He was his only friend Yet somehow despite his many character shortcomings, Lady Lynda insisted on giving him her home baked pastries. Yes it wasn’t his fault if he was somewhat stooped. That his height was slightly over six feet. His bony frame, concave chest, spindly legs gave him a look of a crotchety Abraham Lincoln, minus the beard. His constant frown and his watery pale blue eyes, hook nose gave him a demeanor of a man who seemed as thin and fragile as a twig. He seemed even icier than then a completely frozen lake on the coldest day in Winter. Yet despite these facts the woman thought of him as a poor dear who only real fault was his true sweet personality was deeply hidden. Yes it was deeply hidden as sea urchin on the floor of the Mariana Trench. It was her duty to bring out his warm personality. .The woman asked if he was diabetic. He scowled and told her it was none of her business. Lady Lynda somehow knew Erasmus would evade the question. She told him she wanted to know if he could eat her sweets without impunity. He told her it didn’t matter since he wasn’t interest in her baking. Lady Lynda reflected how most of her neighbors would indeed welcome her deserts with open arms and eager mouths. “Now that I think about it. I suppose it wouldn’t do any harm in taking your pastries. The price is right. I’m sure your intentions are pure. The woman tried to see things from his perspective. Well at least he seemed open to accepting her pastry. Lady Lynda just knew he’d love her scrumptious cooking. She couldn’t imagine taking her baked goods and not enjoying them. Nutley thought of how he’d take her offerings and stashed them in his cupboard. When he’d eat them would be when it would snow in the summer. Lady Lynda didn’t need to know that. He’d take them to be on her good side. She’d never need to know his motivation. She pondered what made him so misanthropic? Was it his early experiences? Was that relevant to know? How analytical should she be? She just knew the first four letters to that word was anal. That reminded her of anal retentive. That was certainly what Erasmus Nutley was. Her mission and her challenge was to bring out his deeply hidden sensitivity and warmth. She beamed with delight for she knew how to get through to Erasmus. Yes it through her delightful pastries. They did take the cake and so would Erasmus. The only thing to do was to shop for the scrumptious ingredients. Surely he couldn’t resist Queen Anne cherry pie with cinnamon flavored whole wheat icing. For that matter nor could he refuse fennel flavored roll ups with persimmon filling. His gratitude would definitely alter his attitude. His heart would soften. Oh it was so exciting she gleamed. It was truly a stroke of pure genius exclaimed Lady Lynda, She reflected how delectable her sweets were. Surely he would like these sweets. She would somehow get through to his heart.

Nick Venire Gets His Comeuppance Lady Lady returns to her love Seymour Toze.

The dear put upon Lady Lynda decided to write a letter of protest. She’d write the basic thoughts, complaints, and hopefully resolutions. She’d read to see how well it flowed. The woman would make certain it was written in one tense. She would check for spelling and punctuation errors. Most importantly she’d see how clear the language was. Seymour Toze’s wife certainly didn’t want to talk down to her readers. The petition would be written in plain English.

She’d write it on plain white lined paper. The woman would share precisely her exact thoughts on how she felt. The issue would that insensitive cad and his horribly decorated house of Sponge Bob Square Pants decorations. How she believed he had done such economic damage to the neighborhood. Not only did he make and Seymour the laughing stock of her neighbors. The block’s economic status slid downhill as fast as popularity of silents once talking pictures came into being. The woman felt a tinge of guilt for her brief affair with Nick. She tried to justify her cheating on her husbnd by thinking she wanted a man who wanted more than just her toes. But then she told herself she saw the light. Seymour’s good qualities.

Something certainly needed to be done. And she was the one to do it. It was her and Seymour who were most victimized. She was being penalized for to her faithful loving spouse. Ergo she would be the one to express how miffed she was. The woman reflected the nerve of that “scalawag ” Little did he know, Nick was soon to get his comeuppence.

While sweat dripped down her forehead the woman heatedly wrote her communication.

It was three short paragraphs. The beginning of the letter told of how lured her into an affair with his conniving ways. The middle section Seymour Toze’s woman wrote of the problem. Lastly she wrote of the solution. That was the neighbors to confront Nicolas Venire and let him know they weren’t going to take his shenanigans.

She then showed what she wrote to Seymour. Not for approval but to see how he could help her. She figured since he lived there too it was his issue too. Plus the situation might use the manly touch, the manly perspective as it were.

“Oh yes Seymour would be most proud and grateful. I’m doing it for him too. It was the least I could do for being responsible for that swine Nicolas Venire’s doings. Yes that lothario would know yours truly, Lady Lynda was no woman to be trifled with.”

Besides Toze’s wife reflected it was she who got the neighborhood into this mess. It was her responsibility to get them out of it. She would go to the source of the problem. That dastardly cad Nicolas Venire. She would make his life utterly miserable until he could take no more of it There was nothing like a woman who was humiliated to be avenged.

With that goal in mind the woman furiously scribbled some words down on lined notebook paper. One handy thing about paper was it was lightweight Significantly compared to a notepad, or ipod. A good pen and paper was the only thing she needed

It was the fact she returned to the loving arms of her faithful husband that was the cause of this community shame. Yes she was once a wanton woman. But now she realized that she cheated was wrong That Venire she deemed needed to learn a lesson. It wasn’t only for her she composed the communique.

Now that the protest letter was written the next step was to disseminate it throughout the neighborhood.