Dan D. Walker Misadventure at the “Long Horn Grand Motel”

Dan D. Walker swaggered into his room at the “Long Horn Grand Motel” in Tyler TX . He smiled as he noticed the rough hewn furniture. He liked the raw hide comfy seats The rustic bed and firm mattress,pillows was to his joyful eyes the height of comfort. The warm crimson , sunny yellows and raw umber was the perfect color combination

He suddenly noticed a soapy wash pail leaning against the wide screen TV. He assumed it was the maid’s. Dan. D. recalled his dear mother taught to always be of help to others. He decided to walk to the hotel lobby to tell the management about the pail. Walker figured he’d enjoy exploring the place where he stayed. Besides it would be much more personable to go in person vs calling on his room’s phone.

The Texan delighted in seeing the original George Caitlin Old West paintingson the cream colored walls. It felt good walking on the plush carpet. Plus observing the stylish decor. wa It felt wonderful he was staying in such a grand and comfortable hotel.

Dan D. took a deep breath and breathed in his rugged chest the wondrous scent of woodsy, spicy cedar as he continued his walk. It reminded him of the cedar closet when he was a little boy back in Flugleville Texas.

He grinned as he thought of how much was so changed in his life. From a lowly freak to staying in a fancy hotel. The one woman he was most thankful for was Lady Lynda Mae Hoffenfetter toze. It was she who transformed him into what he is now, an air traffic controller. What a major responsibility he beamed.

The harpie yelled to him. “Hey you handsome dude whatcha doin here? Walker turned around to see who she was . His eyes opened wide as he stared at the gaudy woman. She was dressed in faux leather cowgirl boots with little silver stars as spurs. She wore a plaid gigham shirt and an A shaped denim skirt. Her loud make up, intense cherry lips, peacock blue eye shadow , alone made him think didn’t she believe in any subtlity He recalled in high school a female student painted her face like that. The boys would tease her and say it’s not Halloween.
Why him? Why was he the chosen one ? he groaned to himself. Where did she come from? He soon found out.

“I’m Desiree Lee Meriweather. I knew you were my man when I first struck my pretty periwinkle blue eyes on you. Moment you stepped into the hotel with your fancy genuine leather Texan style leather boots. I could tell I first came here at “Long Horn” about a week ago I’m newly divorced but not new to well I hope you can get my drift, you big hunk of a real man”

Her loud nasely voice pierced his ear drums as painfully as any ear piercing sans anesthetic. Walker turned to and sighed when he saw the road filled rushing vehicles. If only there was a chance to flee from her clutching arms.

The woman made a mad dash after him. It wasn’t long until her portly body collided with him. He fell on his backside .The Texan struggled to get erect. It was much more than his pride that was hurt. The corpulent woman was now on top of him. His head ached and his body was as sore as an old work horse who He was in such pain he didn’t know if he the stars were in her cow girl high heel boot stirrups or in the sky. The last time he recalled feeling so sick in his stomach was when he ate his aunt Evelina’s banana cream pie. He swore he loved his mom’s sister but he wouldn’t give that desert to his worst enemy ever in his life.

As he thought about that memory he wondered if there was a foe who sicced her on him. Just then his eyes opened wide as he recognized her. She was the woman at the Black Tie and Stetson ball.

“Yes I’m that woman. I felt so neglected when you left with that hussy the only way I could comfort myself was to constantly eat cherry and dark chocolate Bon Bons. Its because of you, you brute that I’m so fat. You should be filled with shame Dan D.

“I didn’t force you to eat those Bon Bons.”

“If you’ll be close with me, ….real close I’ll stop eating these. Bon Bons) Only thing I ask is you marry me Dan. D. Walker.!!!”