Lady Lynda Finds Her Niche
Lady Lynda forlornly thought of how she missed lecturing the young women of the charm school for wayward girls. She felt a tinge of melancholy thinking of how her learned words of wisdom would never be heard by those dear grateful young men of Mr. Pequots Reform School for Dastardly Bastards. She sighed as she pondered how her male charges , how some of them would always be bastards in the literal sense but they were now dastardly no more. Conversely the girls were now refined young women. Both graduates were ready to take their place in the civilized world. She turned those bestial boys into if not perfect gentlemen, ready for civil society. It was a dim chance t the female students would ignorantly blather away at vulgar nonsense. Lady Lynda felt a warm feeling in the cockles of her heart. Her mood was decidedly blithe as she reflected on how her woman friend Auntie Carol and her dramatically changed such unfortunate wretch’s lives significantly for the better.
Auntie Carol’s faithful colleague was feeling a sense of emptiness. Yes the student of both schools could get a bit unruly she admitted. .Mrs Seymour Toze reluctantly remembered how it was a challenge to gain their respect. It was like getting an Orthodox Rabbi to eat a Ham and Cheese sandwich. In a way she couldn’t blame them as she tried to see how she and Auntie Carol were initially perceived from their perspective. Two dowdy fuddy duddy middle aged woman who if the girl’s vocabulary was sophisticated enough would of seen them as dowagers. Yet from her perspective, she was a lady and a sophisticated, cultured one at that.
Now it was up to her to somehow fill the void in her life. Yes there was of course Seymour but he was busy with his day job as a shoe salesman and pedicurist at the “Into Leather” shoe store. Plus his moonlighting as a freelance fashion photographer who specialized in taking photos of women in open toed spiked or stiletto heels. The woman reflecting back on her time with her students came to the conclusion that lecturing was her forte.
It was what she did best. Her time giving talks to the students of both of the schools proved that. She fondly recalled how they listened intensely to what ever she told them. They seemed like barbarous hordes before they eventfully became civilized. Thanks to Lady Lynda and Auntie Carol instilling in them a firm sense of decency and proper manners. No more would they, especially the boys be baneful threats to society. Instead they would know their place and not look bedraggled/ They would be the epitomy of gentlemanly deportment. In place of belligerence there would be true respect for societal mores.This would be true of the girls too.
Lady Lynda lamented the times when she her colleague in arms, Auntie Carol experienced tough times trying to get through to the ruffians in each of the schools. She reflected how beleagered she was as she tried to teach them proper etiquette. Yet despite the troubles , eventually she and her partner did bequeath upon them the essential manners for polite society. Looking back Lady Lynda thought, bemused that if she can make these swaggering braggarts become civilized than she could do for virtually everybody. She found her niche. Her mission would be to lecture on the importance of proper manners. Her clients would include people with disabilities, physical, mental and developmental.
The people with disabilities that we are recently in contact are not nearly as the poor dear unfortionates. They are the ones that bear the brunt of their major calamaty. How calamitous suffering from being singing impaired. The ones we encountered at “the World’s Cheapest Freak Show” in Intercourse PA . I’m recalling the lady with no sense of direction. I’m afraid she’s wandering around like Hamlet’s ghost. I am reminded o that movie, “FreaKs” where the little people attack the full size floozy girl.
“I think I do. Remember last night we watched the 30s movie cult classic “Freaks” The one directed by Todd Browning who directed “Dracula” with Bela Legosi. From a story by Tom Robbins “Spurs” They were really freaky there. the half boy whose body stopped at the rib cage and the fat lady, the Siamese twin sisters who looked like they were stapled together, Daisy and Violet Hilton, the other Hilton sisters, the bearded woman, the ultra thin man, the pinheads medical name microcephalics, the He she, others. Oh those twin sisters were really close to each other. But not nearly as close as we are to each other. You know the fat lady reminds me the career counselor at the special school in Allentown told super fat Mike how as long as there was a side show he’d never fear unemployment. He was at least three hundred pounds at 5’5″ That was so dear of him to look after FatMike’s welfare.
“Getting back to the people with disabilities that we are helping in their quest to work. I’d like to emphasis the fact that we must emphasis what they can do vs what they can’t. Lets as the saying goes accent the positive. Most everyone possesses useful qualities. The thing is to recognize that fact and proceed from there. First we need to discover the skills. Remember they are much more fortunate than the poor freaks we saw a couple years ago. At least they don’t suffer from a lack of direction, a post nasal drip, or their little finger forever curled like a curly quo. ”
Seymour is inspired by his lady love’s delicate feet. His strong desire is to pamper his female customer’s bottom appendages like a new mother pampers her babies soft warm skin. His motto and belief is his caring professional pedicures are good for the soles. He definitely isn’t balling any woman who wants a foot job from him. He loves doing footsies. It makes his heart go pitter patter the way he makes his lady clients feel being with him.
The man thinks to himself that his is a wonderful profession. A perfect fit for a man who adores toes at say the least. It never occurs him he needs to toe the line. Doing his line of work is to him, as stimulating as an invigorating foot rub. It is as wondrous as a relaxing jacuzzi soak. It is as sensual as a milk bath of the finest consistency, quality. But mostly it is a delightful way to keep the customers satisfied by getting to his clients literally from the ground up and then seeing from there.
Lady Lynda , wife of Seymour Toze relects on how Seymour Toze loves his duties at the “Into Leather” shoe store. That is especially pedicure duties. That is because he is a connoissur of women’s feet. He especially likes Lady Lynda’s size 6 curvy, high arched feet. At least that’s how her podiatrist described them. They are so high , Seymour serenely reflects, only her heel and front part ever touch the floor. To Toze the way her feet make contact with the ground is a metaphor of how he feels about her and her soles. His soul soars into the sky like being carried by Hermes with his winged feet. The shoe store worker’s spirit is lifted off the ground like Lady Lynda’s feet are lifted off the floor.
Lady Lynda ask a blond woman on work acccomdations for the visually impaired. They are drinking gourmet coffee at a local coffee shop. The visually impaired woman replies that various technologies help the sight disabled. A woman with low visions counterargues that people who are blind are superior because their other senses are so much more developed vs non blind person. Lady Lynda is visibly shaken. , quite perplexed. Seymour’s wife queries her friend how can this be a blind person is at an advantage.
Meanwhile Mrs Toze’s visually disabled friend hears the footsteps of the barista. She can tell by the fact the footsteps are getting louder the barista woman is only a foot from her. She turns to face the young employee to wait for the woman to talk. The woman asks if she’d like a refill. She replies yes she would. The coffee shop worker tells her her second cup will there for her shortly. The sightless woman hears the coffee shop workers footsteps getting softer as the worker heads toward the coffee machine.
“See what I mean. If you’ll pardon the expression . Anyhoo see how I could tell how close the barista was by how loud her footsteps were. You witnessed an example of how heightened senses guided me.
LSo that’s how you do it you somehow strengthen your other senses, Neat,” Lady Lynda responded,
Her friend Jayme Nightengale a low vision receptionist.replies that because she can’t see her other senses are greatly improved, They are meeting at a nearby coffee shop near where Downie works. The visually impaired woman is sitting down slowly sipping her coffee. She sips her drink that way because it is still too hot to drink in any other way. Lady Lynda smiles as she thinks how good it is to see her friend. Then she thinks of the words sees her friend and ponders how an innocent phrase can can bring out the differences between them. She wonders too how Jayne feels working at a mostly sighted workplace.
“I feel okay working in a business environment where the
vast majority of my fellow peers are sighted. I feel
sorry for them I doubt they ever think about how to enhance
their senses including their sense of sight like I do”
But you have to” snapped Lady Lynda
“Yes I do and I am truly grateful for that fact. I never would be capable of strengthening my other senses. I’m sure you heard the saying “necessity if the motion of invention”. With blind people like yours truly its losing or not being with sense makes it necessary to strengthen one’s other senses,”
“I like how you could sense how close the barista was to you by
the loudness of her footsteps, I’d love for you tell me a new
“How’s this one. I can type fluently 60 words per minute and I never need to look at the typewriter keyboard. LOL. Seriously its using what you can and not to feel sorry for what you can’ do”
“in other words its thinking positive. Accenting the
positive. I really like your outlook
Jayme. i learned a lot from you. Particularly on
how to best deal with the situation. Don’t say I can’t.
Say how can I.” Of course assistive technology such as text readers
or magifying aids for those with some sight helps too
Mostly its a positive can do way of thinking.”
“I learned a lot from you Jayne I admire your gumption Lets toast to your flexbility. ” They toast each other with their coffee cups.
Lady Lynda reflects to herself how there was a personal stake in
her passion for finding solutions for deaf people in the work
place. She firmly reminded herself that she was born with the
leading genetic cause of deafness. That hearing test at a local
hospital ENT department determined she was partially deaf in her
“For me helping deaf workers is personal.”
The woman thought of some methods of help hearing impaired workers in the workplace. Some of the ideas she came up with was closed captioning including real time closed captioning, text commmunicating, text phones, teaching non deaf employees sign language. Writing memos as much as possible.
Next Lady Lynda delves into how best to implement the different methods of helping workers with hearing impairment. The woman went over each technology one by one. She began by starting with close captioning, Mrs Toze thought of how on a possibly daily basis how close captioning can help deaf employee, The first example she thought of were training videos. How if everyone can understand what the training or any company related video , for that matter, it would be an even playing field. Each employee could now be capable of understanding the training video.
Next Lady Lynda pictured a meeting where a close captioned video was shown,.Lady Lynda envisioned the example of a video on close captioning She winced as she thought of the irony of deaf workers being unable to follow the video. She thought too that the wording would need to be large enough and clearly written There would need to enough contrast between the color of the words and the background.
Next she pondered the importance of sign language interpreters She reminded herself not every person with deafness reads lips. Sign language the woman reflected as essential for communication between hearing impaired and non hearing impaired employees. There should be no barriers to communication. Workers with hearing problems should participate as much as possible as equally participating employees in the workplace,
Finally she thought of the importance of text communicating including texting.
Lady Lynda busily, loviomgly vaccuumed the throw rug on Seymour’s side of the queen sized bed. She thought to herself the best way to please her mate was to make certain his belongings were well cared for. Even if they seemed quirky to her. It was not for her to criticize. It was her to make her spouse truly happy. Even if it seemed strange to her that he kept his teddy bear from childhood. Well at least he doesn’t sleep it she reminded herself. It lays on top of the drawers forever in repose. Besides nobody would want it Its not old enough to be an antique. Its quite decrepit with a tear in the ahem shall I say crochet to put it politely. Its only value is sentimental. Seymour Toze is so wistful for his childhood. I think I’ll go over there to see Teddy and think of my sweet husband.
Seymour’s wife goes over to the drawer. “Oh no Teddy is
missing!!!” Lady Lynda felt an emotional avalanche come over her.
“Seymour would be so crestfallen if I can’t find his beloved
animal. That bear is more than a play thing to him. It means so
much. My hubby still forlornly remembers when he was in
kindergarten his parents thought he was too close to the stuffed
toy So they took him away from little Seymour. Oh Perhaps it was
the fact he took the toy everywhere. He even insisted when they
went out to eat Teddy go with them. He even required Teddy sit at
the table on his own chair. I can still visualize what he did next.
He called Coatesevile PA information and asked for the bears phone
number. He inquired what’s teddy’s phone number? The operator
replied “I need his last name” Toze responded with a quiv4ring high
pitched little boy voice. “His last name is Bear”
s beloved childhood favorite was gone.
“That toy means so much to him. I must find it.” With that determination Lady Lynda searched their entire home. She lifted up the cushions of the sofa to see if somehow it wedged itself between t hem. Seymmour’s wife looked to see if there tell tale bumps in the carpeting. Lady Lynda searched everywhere in the home. She wiped her weary, sweaty brow as she became increasingly frustrated. It was as the bear walked off on its own two little plush legs. Seymour was coming home in less than an hour. Oh how upset he’ll be. If only I find Teddy the woman wailed.
“I searched every nook and cranny of our entire home” Lady Lynda wailed. Where oh where can Seymour’s Teddy be. I need to find the darling keepsake. Seymour’s coming home quite soon. He’ll be o so upset his childhood plaything isn’t here.” “It’s like it was here a couple hours ago and now its gone. How could that be” Seymour’s wife bemoaned. “To most people its beat up old toy. To my husband its the epitomy of cherished childhood memories.
Just then Lady Lynda heard the front door open. Her body immediately grew tense when she realize Seymour was home. What was she to do the woman desperately thought? Seymour’s wife heard his footsteps getting louder as Seymour came closer to the master bedroom. She needed to think something fast to explain why his beloved teddy bear was missing. Unfortunately the now unbearably close proximity made coming up with a solution as difficult as finding someone liking cod liver oil. Lady Lynda feeling completely overwhelmed, froze in her tracks. She was so tense she didn’t hear her husband walk into the room. He immediately gasped with concern. “What’s the matter honey?” “I said what is the matter” I’m quite concerned” His wife slowly turned toward him. With tears in her eye in a hesitant voice she told her mate “I am so….so sorry Seymour. I don’t know what happened. I hope I can make it up to you. Teddy is no more” Seymour was taken aback. “No no my darling sweet honey. He’s with me. I took him to get a cleaning.” Lady Lynda didn’t know to sigh a relief or bop him with his teddy bear.
It feels so cozy to be cozying next to each other by the warmth of the fireplace in our little den. Seymour told his paramour and wife Lady Lynda. “Yes the crackling fire with its rich warm hues gives off such sparkling delight. Esepecially when we slowly sip our jugs pf Snickerdoodle tea. replied Mrs Toze. “It makes me want to make you even more proud of me”. Seymour Toze slowly, warmly embraced his mate. “How could I ever hold more pride? That talk you did on accommodations for seriously visually impaired workers was so thorough, informative and dare I say brilliant”. His partner blushed. With her face as red as a cooked lobster, Lady Lynda humbly thanked her husband.
“I started off with saying I wasn’t referring to people who were
merely nearsighted, medical term myopic where the right
prescription glasses was the only thing they needed. I meant
employees who were at the very least legally blind who needed much
more help in getting the bulk of their responsibilities
“its really impressive how blind people can be helped so much in doing their work” exclaimed Seymour.
“Yes it is quite. But let’s move on. There’s much more to tell.” replied Seymour’s wife” “I’m eager to learn more” Her husband responded enthusiastically.
Next I’ll tell you about how to accommodate workers who were
either hard of hearing or deaf. This disability you mentioned was
much easier to deal with then the visually impaired since those
withearing\impairments can wear hearing aids.
Lady Lynda smiles proudly as she blithely continues discussing innovative technology for low vision employees.
One such neat device is the eye controlled TD pilot mentioned Lady Lynda. The device is geared toward people with limited mobility. It is operated by a worker’s eye movements There’s a different way of assisting employees with intermediate low vision. That is make certain the print is large enough and the background contrasts well enough with the text and illustrations if any. Some prefer a dark background and some like a light background. Generally speaking one shouldn’t generalize. Each way of doing things should be geared to the individual. It depends on how much the person can see . For the completely sightless there is voice control, listening devices. For those with some vision there are ways for them to see by enlarging texts, contrasting backgrounds as I mentioned earlier. For those who use them a service dog for the blind is permitted in the work space. As long as its well behaved and the other workers don’t feel its a nuisance. The staff member utilizing the canine must show proof the animal is part of a disability service. There are dogs for other handicapped staffers but that’s another talk.
Lady Lynda Mae Hoffenfetter Toze Seymourbrings home their
brick red boston terrier Buster. The couple beams with
delight there is a canine addition to their household. To
them the dog is perfect just the way he is. T I
don’t give a flying fig he’d not black and white or sable and white
snarls Seymour He looks so handsome to me.I like
just as he is. Toze happily gushes.
“He looks so darling to me too” commented his wife Lady Lynda
The couple relishes that Buster is a year old and house trained. That “Being so compact twenty pounds and fifteen inches he won’t need much exercise . Plus his short furmerely needs a brushing with al dog brush that can bepurchase in a pet supply store. Yes I believe we made the right choice.Lady Lynda gushed. Seymour heartily agreed.
The dog shyly comes out of his crate and immediately surveys his immediate surroundings. He seems bewildered. . The two fret about making a mistake. Then Seymour urged his wife”Don’t give up too easily. We just need to show him the layout of our domicile. So he can used used to his home. Lady Lynda smiled at Seymour’s suggestions. “Let’s go” Lady Lynda exclaimed. “Let’s start with the foyer.. Then will work out way to the living room, dining room,bedroom,. the kitchen, guestroom, den, rec. room, basement” rattled Seymour’s
He needs to know that he feels comfortable, secure here.. We are responsible for his safety his well being. Yes indeed. we must be fair to him. He is totally dependent on us. He is here to stay. . They insist ot not shirking their responsibilitities And with vet visits for periodic checkups for making certain his shots are up to date that could be for a very long time. Lady Lynda and Seymour Toze delight in their decision.
“We must make absolutely certain he learns the basic commands asap. I wouldn’t be surprised bein he’s a year old he knows some basic commands. The next day we will test to see if he knows the following commands. Come, stay, fetch. If he know to walk with us not definitely not ahead of us. That we are his alpha dogs. That he realizes he can’t jump on people, especially our guests. It is of utmost necessity for us , our guests and Buster he learns his manners. Well Lady Lynda your first non human client in the teaching of proper etiquette. I bet you’d be quite good at this since you are expert on these manners . “But he’s a dog.” retorted Lady Lady. He’s not a human. How can he learn as such. How on earth can I teach him as if he were a little child. H needs to be taught as a canine. I need to brush on the training part of our dog books.I’m certain if I do that there shouldn’t be much of a problem training him. I do recall Boston Terriers pick up new information quite quickly. For dogs they are very intelligent. I mean that they can easily learn new information. He is not a small human he is an animal of the canis major family “Your right my dear sweet practical Lady Lynda But for now let him get a good night sleep as much as he caninely possibly can. I suspect he right now needs his sleep. Tomorrow as Scarlet O’Hara said Margeret Mitchell epic civil war novel “Tomorrow is another day” With that in mind why don’t we call it a day and go our bedroom, get cozy and get some much needed shuteye. The dog can sleep in his crate We were told he is crate trained. With that comforting thought in mind the couple are set t oget their much needed sleep. For they are utterly exhausted and filled with joyful excitement, anticipation of owning a pet.