Lady Lynda noticed the vast majority of her neighbors readily
signed the protest letter. The one notable exception was the local
curmudgeon who dastardly insisted on reading what was in the
protest form. Seymour Toze’s wife fanned herself as she
hyperventilated at Erasmus’s gall. Yet she was still determined for
him to to sign. She would use her charm she confidently
decided.
Lady Lynda remembered the saying hope springs eternal. She smiled
as she reminisced about that 70s star, actress Hope Lange. She then
starting humming the nonsense chorus of “He’s so fine.” She sang ”
Do lang. Do lang.: That led to her reminiscing when her sister and
her saw the radical psychiatrist R. D. Laing. They sang to the tune
of the chorus of “He’s so Fine” RD Laing RD Laing that handsome
shrink over there . The one with the wavy hair. It made her
chuckle. How they both possessed a sense of humor. Nutley certainly
didn’t. Lady Lynda reflected how she first noticed his sour
disposition when she first met him. She recalled the situation was
to see if he’d sign a petition in protest of Lothario Nicolas
Venire. The man who painted his home so garish. Venire’s decoration
consisted of two foot square “Sponge Bob Square Pants” pictures.
Their backgrounds were of various pastels. This was Nick’s way of
getting even with Lady Lynda for leaving him for her husband
Seymour Toze. Who happened to be a freelance fashion photographer
of women in open toed shoes Her recollecting sorely reminded her
that one of the many faults of Erasmus Nutley was his lack of
desiring romantic encounters . For that matter any personal
relationships. Yes thought Lady Lynda He was truly his own best
friend. He was his only friend Yet somehow despite his many
character shortcomings, Lady Lynda insisted on giving him her home
baked pastries. Yes it wasn’t his fault if he was somewhat stooped.
That his height was slightly over six feet. His bony frame, concave
chest, spindly legs gave him a look of a crotchety Abraham Lincoln,
minus the beard. His constant frown and his watery pale blue eyes,
hook nose gave him a demeanor of a man who seemed as thin and
fragile as a twig. He seemed even icier than then a completely
frozen lake on the coldest day in Winter. Yet despite these facts
the woman thought of him as a poor dear who only real fault was his
true sweet personality was deeply hidden. Yes it was deeply hidden
as sea urchin on the floor of the Mariana Trench. It was her duty
to bring out his warm personality. .The woman asked if he was
diabetic. He scowled and told her it was none of her business. Lady
Lynda somehow knew Erasmus would evade the question. She told him
she wanted to know if he could eat her sweets without impunity. He
told her it didn’t matter since he wasn’t interest in her baking.
Lady Lynda reflected how most of her neighbors would indeed welcome
her deserts with open arms and eager mouths. “Now that I think
about it. I suppose it wouldn’t do any harm in taking your
pastries. The price is right. I’m sure your intentions are pure.
The woman tried to see things from his perspective. Well at least
he seemed open to accepting her pastry. Lady Lynda just knew he’d
love her scrumptious cooking. She couldn’t imagine taking her baked
goods and not enjoying them. Nutley thought of how he’d take her
offerings and stashed them in his cupboard. When he’d eat them
would be when it would snow in the summer. Lady Lynda didn’t need
to know that. He’d take them to be on her good side. She’d never
need to know his motivation. She pondered what made him so
misanthropic? Was it his early experiences? Was that relevant to
know? How analytical should she be? She just knew the first four
letters to that word was anal. That reminded her of anal retentive.
That was certainly what Erasmus Nutley was. Her mission and her
challenge was to bring out his deeply hidden sensitivity and
warmth. She beamed with delight for she knew how to get through to
Erasmus. Yes it through her delightful pastries. They did take the
cake and so would Erasmus. The only thing to do was to shop for the
scrumptious ingredients. Surely he couldn’t resist Queen Anne
cherry pie with cinnamon flavored whole wheat icing. For that
matter nor could he refuse fennel flavored roll ups with persimmon
filling. His gratitude would definitely alter his attitude. His
heart would soften. Oh it was so exciting she gleamed. It was truly
a stroke of pure genius exclaimed Lady Lynda, She reflected how
delectable her sweets were. Surely he would like these sweets. She
would somehow get through to his heart.
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