More of Lady Lynda’s Tips on how a Lady Behaves with her Mate.

Lady Lynda entered the classroom conservatively properly dressed in a brocade rose pink suit and matching cotton gloves. Hello dears, its once again Lady Lynda. I want to talk to you of a critically important topic. How a good dutiful wife behaves in a successful marriage. Oh please I deliberately did not use the word relationship. That word to me, indicates what some of us euphaemistically calls living together. I call it living in sin I’m getting the vapors just thinking about it. Please excuse me while I sit down before I faint. Okay now I feel much better. Please note, while Seymour Toze is my gentleman friend we each live in our separate domiciles.

Lets begin. Rule number one. Never make your husband feel inferior. For example you are offered a work position you know you’re qualified for. If you wind up making more money than your dear husband. No matter how much you want it, turn it down. His ego is worth more than any economic benefit to you. In fact a wife should be really remiss if she took any job. This would be blow to her husband’s fragile ego They may look, manly, muscular but underneath those muscles lays a mass of mush of insecurities Never ever post anything of this nature on any social media.

One more thing never ever say something that goes counter to what he is saying. You must never, ever contradict him. Especially when you are riding in the automobile with him. Whenever you get lost, please don’t ever suggest you pull up to the nearest gas station and ask for directions. It may be the womanly sensible thing to do but men aren’t sensible like us women. It is a cardinal rule that men never ever ask for directions. This is a fact that this is written in their DNA. Just accept this. To do so would surely hurt their fragile pride. Even if you get totally lost, you’d be completely rude to complain about your lovey (spouse) not inquiring how to get somewhere. It is much better for you two to wind up on some long winding road Besides you two are all alone. Use your imagination. Men may look tough but underneath they are quivering jellyfishes. It is up to the wife to consistently remember that.

Seymour Toze and his Perspective on the Charm School for Wayward Girls.

I, Seymour Toze believe I am in my rights in telling my opinion of my lady friend, Lady Lynda’s part in her woman friend Auntie Carol’s Charm school. While do think its commendable. Yes I really do. There are I hate to confess, some issues. For one thing neither of them inquired how I felt.
Well I’ll tell you how I’m feeling, I feel like I’m being ignored. I know its the two ladies charm school. But being that I am the gentleman friend I think I have the right to some say. Plus I believe I could be of real help in my input. I’m thinking the classes could use a masculine viewpoint. Or at least my viewpoint…I must say I truly think its quite commendable what my lady friend and her colleague is doing for these unfortunate urchins. I mean what other ladies would take the time to show them the errors of their ways. I am proud to be the gentleman friend of Lady Lynda Hottenfetter.
She certainly is a dear. Plus I adore her in her open toed spiked heels I feel compelled to mention one of the reasons I love and greatly admire my Lady Lynda. I do hope they instill the importance of open toed spiked heels in young ladies.

A masculine perspective is definitely what is needed here. A man’s point of view to balance my dear Lady Lynda and her colleague Auntie Carol.

Lady Lynda’s View of The Charm School for Wayward Girls Graduation.

Oh Auntie Carol what a dreadful example to give to your newly graduated reformed charm school ladies. A little tipsy I don’t believe is the right phrase. How ’bout practically roaring down drunk? Conversely I remember a few years ago a so called woman friend invited me to a place of entertainment. Well it turned out to be a show of scantily clad male entertainers. I recall drinking my 14 Mimosas. Even so I was still standing and even dancing. Far from the best dancing but still dancing. Especially when everybody with the exception of us, were underage. I wonder how many of the young women are members of Instagram? They should be complete teatotolersI did like the way the room was festooned with colorful crepe, black balloons. Was black subconsously chosen because we are leaving the girls for greener pastures? Whatever? Pretty in pink I say. Those tulip dresses for the young ladies waiting for their two lips to be kissed by handsome beaus. I just love the colorful makeup. It was a fest fit for a Bachanalia. If you’ll pardon my expression. lol. I’m truly grateful they recited my Society’s Niceties in iambic pentimeter. Shakespeare would of been proud. I know I was. The perfumes were an olfactory delight. Such sophistication in scents. The sweet smell of success was in the air. A little tongue and cheek humor. Oh Auntie Carol, you are so cheeky.

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“Lady Lynda Reminesces”

Lady Lynda relaxed in her boudoir. The fairly newly married self proclaimed female etiquette exert wore her her long sleeved flannel carnation pink night gown. The one with the jaunty lace trim. Seymour Toze’s spouse purposely languidly laid upon the divan celebrating the Diva that become since being married to her gentleman friend of quite a few decades. She deemed herself the height of fortune to be of wedded bliss to her limit of patience , shoe salesman, fashion photographer. Lady Lynda loved the sound of her complete name Mrs Lynda Mae Hoffenfetter Toze She felt so radiant. The once dowdy woman sighed as she reminesced Her goosebumps she felt when Toze finally placed that wedding ring on her third finger, right hand.

It was such a genteel occasion at the Temple Enoch Synagogue. Lady Lynda quipped she certainly knew who was knocking at her heart. She was definitely beyond the years she could be knocked up. She delicately giggled at her humor.He looked so chivalrous in his black tuxedo, starched white shirt and stylish black tie. Rabbi and motivational speaker Hugh R. Good said wedding vows.

It seemed rather eloquent how he so offered his hand in hers in holy matrimony. What felicity she felt. At last they were legal. Now he could do with her much more than play with her ten pretties. He could be ravenous with her and she’d love every moment. Of course she would reciprocate too. Fair is fair she demurely chuckled.

Yes she sweetly laid on the divan waiting for her man. Lady Lynda needed not to wait very long. She liked that phrase very long. It conjured up delightful images of her man, Seymour Toze. Being that he was merely 5’7 she mused she wasn’t referring to his height. She could hardly wait. She emphasized hard…ly .

Seymour was coming any moment from his free lance fashion photography. As she pictured his debonair handsome form entering the bedroom she blushed ever so expectently as she eagerly waited for his entrance. Yes it would be so very hard to be patient. She was an Aries and that is the most impatient Star Sign. But she must be the essence of patience.

At last her husband Seymour Toze sauntered in into with a savoir faire that being married to the lady he loved could muster. Lady Lynda was more than ready for him. She was eager and comely. Waiting for him to come to her. At last her wish came true. The prepping for her etiquette tour was now put on hold