Subtitle Lady Lynda and Seymour Toze are about to enjoy one of the coolest oldies festivals in the US. The Ponderosa Stomp. <"href='https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytp7GGq-1qs">
Lady Lynda and Seymour Toze cuddle next to each other in their adjacent seats on the plane. Neither of the couple knew whether to trust their cheap flight to New Orleans. They are so excited to be at the Ponderosa Stomp oldies festival. This was especially true when they constantly jolted with the flight being so wobbly. They rest their elbows on the incline between them Lady Lynda grips her spouse’s hand as tight as a cap on a hermetically sealed jar. Seymour winces but tells himself its worth it to comfort his wife. He looks out the window to distract himself from the discomfort.
“Are you sure this cheap airline is safe?” his wife quite uneasily asks. ‘
Toze replies “A little turbulance is to be expected dear”
“Are you certain this is a little” she asks.
Just then the plane is smoothly sailing. The couple breath simultaneously a sigh of relief. They joke how their synchronized breathing proved they were meant for each other. Seymour Toze is especially glad Lady Lynda’s grip was much looser. What a relief his honey’s grip wasn’t so visor like Seymour told himself he loved holding hands with his honeykins but that was way too much. He and his honeykins were happy the plane landed safely in New Orleans They were pleased too that they reserved a room in a local moderately priced hotel near the Ponderosa Stomp. *t was a charm of bed and breakfast. Seymour loved the place’s name. “Maison Pierre Lafitte. Toze just knew the last part sounded like lafeet.The name of the hotel remiknded of his career as a shoe salesman at the “inter Leather” shoe store and his profession as a pedicurist. But especially how he loved his wife’s firm fleshy toes that he first noticed on that day in swin class in high school. He proposed that it was French for the feet. He knew from making the reservation with his wife this was where he and his honeykins should stay. It helped too he reflected that the rooms were cozy and comfty with comfortable queen size beds and quaint furnishing. The view from the picture window was truly spectacular as well.Lady Lynda agreed that it was a charming gem to stay in in the heart of the “Big Easy”
Hotel. Next day Ponderosa Stomp.
Lady Lynda and her hubbykina wake up from a refreshing evening’s sleep. Lady Lynda squeals with glee and excitement as she pictures her and Seymour at the Ponderosa Stomp. The yearly musical festival of obscure but ultra talented pop singers from the past decades. Seymour smiles as he envisions performing in person such rock and roll stalwarts such as Lenny Lizardo and his Leapin’ lizards, old timer Papa Don Preach and most of all Wanda Gudtimes and her Good Time Gals. The couple wiggled their shoulders and gyrated to the wild sounds. The two screamed with delight at the acts of the two early October festival. Lady Lynda gushed with delight how the music was a potpouri of blues, jump blues , country, rockabilly and other musical genres Seymour hooted excitedly as the sounds stretched back to nearly fifty years and counting It was an oldies lovers delight they wholeheartedly agreed. They were deeply grateful for the “Knights of the MauMau” Seymour Toze felt a lump in his throat as thought about the negro influence to modern music. From the primitive drumming of “Congo Square”in New Orleans by the slaves prior to the emancipation to modern RYB and even hip hop. It was a mighty sound he grandly opined Lady Lynda Toze sat there with a gleeful grin enjoying the many sounds of the truly talented performances
The perforemers, single artists and groups proudly walked up the steps to the stage to perform their most famous numbers. Many of them gushed as they played before ever grateful audience. Some smiled triumphantly to be playing once more at a live performance. Everyone was grateful to be back on stage doing what they loved. The joy of pleasing enthusiastic listeners was palpable. That is being a part of an evening entertaining with their hit songs their fans. Plus entertaining new fans too. Directly above them was the round Pondersosa stomp sign prominently displayed One by one the performances were the epitomy of the roots of rock and roll.
The performers walked on stage in what was a several hour tribute to the roots of rock. The crowd clapped, hooted, hollered. They stomped their fee with the powerful feet. The Tozes thought it was an old fashion camp meeting. The only difference was instead of religion getting into their soul it was good old fashion rock and roll. It was down home R&R mixed with r&B, Rockabilly, Swamp Rock and anything the crowd desired. Lady Lynda thought it was the fun they could ever remember at a music concert.
“I just remembered darling There’s going to be a local rodeo“Yes it is.Id be fun to go us two.’ Seeing those cowboys, bronking bulls, clowns and all that rodeo stuff” “Yippee eye kay aye the rodeo!!!! yelled the couple with glee. Now was their chance. Seymour Toze felt as excited as seeing his first pedicure customer. His wife was as thrilled as seeing Dan. D. Walker talk clearly. She immediately thought of him when the word rodeo was mentioned on the show. They excitedly talked about seeing, real cowboys with genuine leather boots with fancy carved designs. They'd watch them ride horses running wild on the dirt floor. The cowboys would lasso those calves as quickly as Seymour Toze’s beady eyes eyed the toes of his female pedicure customers.
Lady Lynda and the love of her sighed a sigh of relief when their cheap flight safely reached the local airport/ From tnere it was a short Uber rige to the rodeo. Seymour Toze sat at the third tiered level of the stadium. They were right in between the top level with box seats and ground floor seating. The two thought it was a terrific unobstructed view They were glad too they bought binoculars just in case. Lady Lynda tried to stifle her disapproval when she couldn’t help noticing how Seymour seemed to be quite interested in the curvaceous female drum majorettes in their rather skimpy cowgirl style outfits. Seymour immediately noticed his honey’s disapproval. He started to put his left arm around her while with his right arm holding the binoculars. "Awww honey baby its only a show.” “Yes its that’s all it should be “ snapped Seymour Toze’s wife.
The twosome saw Native American men and women in full regalia including colorful headdresses with beautiful colorful plumes. Next came the Cowboys on their majestic black steeds. There were the clowns too giving the show a silly yet fun flavor.
Then next in the processions the first act out of the gate as quick as snapping one’s fingers bronco bull riders. They looked no more then their late teens. Some of their skills were truly impressive. They gave everyone who saw them they were practicing their rodeo skills since they were knee high to that proverbial grasshopper. Like they were little enough to look up to Jiminy Cricket
Lady Lynda noticed one of the bronco riders was somewhat older then the rest. She began to look at him more closely. As she did the woman immediately noticed it was Dan. D. The woman couldn’t believe her eyes. The man she met at the “World’s Oldest Freak Show” The man who virtually everyone in Intercourse PA thought was so exotic because they never heard a Texan accent before. There he was on that bull riding him like a pro. The couple noticed how when the bull dipped forward , Walker would lean backwards. When the animal rose on his two feet, his rider would bend down. Each time keeping a perfect zig to the beast’s zag. It was a joy to behold such symmetry. At least the ride was over and Dan D. Walker shouted Yippee kay Eye as he jumped off victorious.
He then looked up and saw the Tozes. He ran over , pumped up with victory, to where his friends sat. He smiled and waved at them. It was such a great feeling to see his old pals. Lady Lynda and Seymour Toze waved and smiled back. It was a terrific way to end the day at the rodeo. They all celebrated at the Grand View Steak Restaurant.
Dan D. Walker swaggered into his room at the “Long Horn Grand Motel” in Tyler TX . He smiled as he noticed the rough hewn furniture. He liked the raw hide comfy seats The rustic bed and firm mattress,pillows was to his joyful eyes the height of comfort. The warm crimson , sunny yellows and raw umber was the perfect color combination
He suddenly noticed a soapy wash pail leaning against the wide screen TV. He assumed it was the maid’s. Dan. D. recalled his dear mother taught to always be of help to others. He decided to walk to the hotel lobby to tell the management about the pail. Walker figured he’d enjoy exploring the place where he stayed. Besides it would be much more personable to go in person vs calling on his room’s phone.
The Texan delighted in seeing the original George Caitlin Old West paintingson the cream colored walls. It felt good walking on the plush carpet. Plus observing the stylish decor. wa It felt wonderful he was staying in such a grand, comfortable hotel.
Dan D. took a deep breath and breathed the wondrous scent of woodsy, spicy cedar/ It reminded him of the cedar closet when he was a little boy back in Flugleville Texas.
He grinned as he thought of how much was so changed in his life. From a lowly freak to staying in a fancy hotel. The one woman he was most thankful for was Lady Lynda Mae Hoffenfetter toze. It was she who transformed him into what he is now, an air traffic controller. What a major responsibility he beamed.
Suddenly Dan was startled by a loud raspy female voice. “Hey you handsome dude whatcha doin here? Walker turned around to see who was there. His eyes opened wide as he stared at the gaudy woman. She was dressed in faux leather cowgirl boots with little silver stars as spurs. She wore a plaid gingham shirt and an A shaped denim skirt. Her loud make up, intense cherry lips, peacock blue eye shado He recalled in high school a female student painted her face like that. The boys would tease her and say it’s not Halloween.
“I’m Desiree Lee Meriweather. I knew you were my man when I first struck my pretty periwinkle blue eyes on you. Moment you stepped into the hotel with your fancy genuine leather Texan style leather boots. I could tell I first came here at “Long Horn” about a week ago I’m newly divorced but not new to well I hope you can get my drift, you big hunk of a real man”
Her loud nasely voice pierced his ear drums as painfully as any ear piercing sans anesthetic. Walker turned to and sighed when he saw the road filled rushing vehicles. If only there was a chance to flee from her clutching arms.
The woman made a mad dash after him. It wasn’t long until her portly body collided with him. He fell on his backside .The Texan struggled to get erect. It was much more than his pride that was hurt. The corpulent woman was now on top of him. His head ached and his body was as sore as an old work horse who He was in such pain he didn’t know if he the stars were in her cow girl high heel boot stirrups or in them.
As he thought about that memory he wondered if there was a foe who sicced her on him. Just then his eyes opened wide as he recognized her. She was the woman at the Black Tie and Stetson ball.
“Yes I’m that woman. I felt so neglected when you left with that hussy the only way I could comfort myself was to constantly eat cherry and dark chocolate Bon Bons. Its because of you, you brute that I’m so fat. You should be filled with shame Dan D.“I didn’t force you t those Bon Bons.”
“If you’ll be close with me, ….real close I’ll stop eating these. Bon Bons) Only thing I ask is you marry me Dan. D. Walker.!!!”
“Gosh tarnation. Dang Desiree Lee Meriweather. You are one heck of a piece of cloth. You horny little tart. Get out of here and never show up for evermore. Now git!!! Walker waved goodbye at her like he was hurrying her off. His expression was that of total determination. Desiree knew there was nothing she could do but to get out.
Auntie Carol dressed in her Easter finest with matching rose pink handbag and likewise pearls humbly entered the church she regularly attended She smiled as she thought of how her rose pink brocaded jacket and skirt reminded her of how He rose on that fateful first Easter The woman humbly walked down the good sized room to find a seat. Lady Lynda ‘s friend and fellow etiquette encourager was not srurprised how crowded the place was. Easter she mused celebrated the ressurecton of Jesus christ If it wasn’t for that incident he would of been an ordinary man. That even made all the difference in the world. she solemnly reflected.
The Pastor of the church “Our Holy Redeemer Christian church as non sectarian. Auntie Carol thought that was most , most inclusive way for a Christian place of worship to be The woman discreetly sat down in a seat in one of the front pews. She was proud to be a believer.
Pastor Charles Goodman began his sermon. He waved his hands dramatically as he spoke of Mark Chapter 16 New American Standard Version Updated. The chapter on the Risen LORD He gritted his teeth and clenched his fist as he emphasized the significance of that most important Biblical text. The clergyman chose Mark as opposed to the other Gospels since Mark was the most direct in his writings He quickly got to the point
Pastor Goodman grandly recited Mark 15 …. “The Disciples Commissioned
14 Afterward He appeared to the eleven themselves as they were reclining at the table; and He reproached them for their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they had not believed those who had seen Him after He had risen. 15 And He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. 16 He who has believed and has been baptized shall be saved; but he who has disbelieved shall be condemned. 17 These [d]signs will accompany those who have believed: in My name they will cast out demons, they will speak with new tongues; 18 they will pick up serpents, and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.”
The congregants clapped and hollered enthusiastically as the paster repeatedly shouted “He is risen” The words “Amen ad Praise the LORD Thank you Jesus wwere yelled through the rafters . Auntie Carol joined in gleefully. She was overjoyed she went to the services She thought of how spring was the perfect time for Easter Because oine meaning of spring ws to jump. to rise from the ground. Likewise the Redeemer rose on that crucial day
Afterwards Auntie Carol and her fellow male and female worshippers enjoyed a delightful tete a tete
Lady Lynda and Seymour Toze’s Passover Seder.
Peseach Lady Lynda
“Feeing strange being in such an ultra orthodox sercive. Out of place but loving the piety of the observation.
“I felt quitereluctant going to this ultra orthodox sedar but being a procrastinator this was the only one I could attend. As for the rest of the local seders there was no room or prices too high for yours truly. This synagogue “Temple Ruach” The space at the Jewish house of worship was a long , rectangle shape with a long table with rows of crystal dishes and goblets for the wine and other beverages. The parts of the meal before the main course was on a silver plated plate with divided section for each part of the premeal.
Unfortunately I wound up at the longest Seder I can remember. It felt as if it was interminable. When I thought the service was finally ended they started singing with gusto “Ninety Nine Bottles of Mogen David” on the wall Geesh Every verse was sung!!!!
I made certain I dressed for the occasion You know me I’m so much into dressing properly My loose fitting flannel navy dress was at least two inches below my knees. I wore long sleeves. I didn’t want show too much skin. Wouldn’t want to tempt the men there. Oh I did realize this iwas a religious service but men I know are still of the flesh. Even if most of them are engaged, with a girlfriend or married Besides Seymour was with me I am middle aged but I’m told I look much younger One can’t be too certain. The Gay and Lesbians couples and other participants participated too.
The ceremony was like any other Sedar. It started with the blessing In Hebrew the Kiddish. The Seder begins with the saying of Kiddush. It’s to bless this most sacred of Jewish days. Kiddish means holiness. When its said the Kiddush acknowledge the sacredness of this holy day The LORD is thanked that he bought the peopleto celebrate the holiday.
I felt a little tipsy once I drank the fourth wine cup of syrupy sweet Magen David. I’ve participated in other Seders so I knew it was the custom for each person’s cup to be filled by another participant The other person was a servant The cups were drunk as everyone reclined on their left side. Its suppose to symbolize luxury and majesty.
Then we went to the kitchen sink to wash our hands. Next the meal. It consisted of bitter herbs. In this case parsley dipped in salt water. The dipping was to represent the bitter tears of slavery in those years in Ancient Egypt. The Charosis was made of chopped nuts, chunky apple sauce That part of the meal was meant to remind the partakers there of the mortor.
We ate Matzah or Motzah if you prefer Its a kind of flat bread made from dough that doesn’t rise. The result is a crisp flatbread. This variety I could tell was totally vegan. Veganism seems to be the in thing these days. I never saw so many animal lovers ever in my dear life. I mean lovers enough not to eat them, I wasn’t surprised at all the main course was a lentil dish. It was hearty and very filling. Finally the blessing of the Pesach and well wishes for everyone there Seymour and I loved being there . With the wine, the delicious food, the friendliness of the people there it was a warm, hearty, meaningful celebration. Tooleloo. Here’s to my partner in arms and colleague Auntie Carol and her Easter celebration at her church “Church of Our Holy Redeemer”
“Oh Seymour your royal blue worsted suit really brings out your deep sapphire eyes” gushed Lady Lynda.
“Lady Lynda my dearest one. Your pretty navy and white floral print cotton dress with the pert off shoulder wavy sleeves make you look the epitomy of graceful womanhood.
Seymour gazed quite pleased at his elegant wife. He felt a stirring in his heart but unfortunately he couldn’t tell if it was a hint of fondness, pride or hunger pangs.
It was a full 20 minutes. No waitperson was there to serve them their meals.
Lady Lynda looked throughout the eatery for someone to serve them. As she perused the establishment she noticed how the delightful photos of the old country charm of Italy. There were photographs of a male gondolier on a boat with tourists in Venice. There was one of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. There were the busy streets of elegant Rome.
The couple relished their closeness on the cozy leather seats. The square table was the perfect size. The fresh-cut deep red roses in the center was the right touch for a Valentine’s day lunch.
“Oh Seymour this is such a fine dining place. The waitpeople are so helpful Do you know what you want to order?
“No not yet. I’m still perusing this delightful menu. Let’s see. Hamburger con fromaggio. Flat Italian framaggio pies.
“Everything here looks so delectable. How in the world do they make such delicacies.”
“This restaurant is highly recommend by gourmands.” commented Toze.
Without much ado the couple ordered the Valentine Special , two Steak Pizzeola oozing with fresh tomato sauce made with chunky tomatoes, sizzling onions and drizzled with pungent garlic on a long Italian bread roll.
Ten minutes later the meal came. When Lady Lynda looked up at the server she thought he looked rather familiar Then as she glanced at him she realized he was the man who flirted with her at the New Age Book Shop two weeks earlier. She remembered his aquamarine eyes eagerly fluttering at her. She nervously recalled how he blurted out adoring her long gold discs necklace. He called her girlfriend. She beamed such a colorful man was interested in her. The woman currently felt her heart sink. Seymour’s wife dearly wondered how to handle the touchy situation. Especially when Seymour’ looked so concerned.
The waiter politely told the couple he hoped they enjoyed their meals. He gave no hint of his earlier encounter with Lady Lynda, Toze’s wife wondered why that was. It was only less than a week since her encounter with him. But she admitted she was relieved he didn’t let on their flirty experience at the New Age Book Store. Then as the waiter left he slyly winked at Lady Lynda as if to say “Let’s keep our secret. It was a charming interlude” Lady Lynda was grateful his behavior revealed a true gentleman.
Lady Lynda observes Purim Jewish holiday commenerating the Bibical story of Esther.Lady Lynda’s feelings were quite mixed. The woman thought of how festive Purim was Lady Lynda felt a slight touch of guilt looking forward to the Festival of Lots festivities at Bnai Emanual Reform.
Seymour Toze’s wife gleamed as she recalled the last few years of the Jewish holiday at Bnai Emmanual. The woman beamed as she pictured the congregation children putting on their yearly Purim play. The prettiest preteen girl would play Esther. Her doting , caring uncle Mordecai would be portrayed by a thirteen year old boy slightly taller than the girl for Esther. King Ashurasus and Arch villian Hamen were to be acted by other pre-teen boys at the Bnai Emmanual synagogue. They would act out the eternal Biblical story the book of Esther. The Persian king’s wife disrespecting himHer husband couldn’t tolerate her wickedness. The Persian leader created a contest to find the best woman for his new wifeEsther wins the beauty contest sans the king knowing her origins. Meanime Mordecai believing he shouldn’t bow down to anyone except the LORD refuses to bow down to Hamen Hamen is incensed .He orders Esther’s uncle to be hung on the gallows. He states he’ll slay every Jew in Persia. Esther tries to tell her royal husband. Her mate tells her he can’t break an order.He can make a new one countering the original proclaimation He permits the Jews to fight back.Result is the happy ending of the Jews victorious in preventing disaster The entire crowd cheering Esther and booing nefarious Haman. Clapping and cheeriing the villian getting his commuppence .Lady Lynda looked eagerly forward to the latest Purim party.She gushed with delight as she gleefully anticipated the story of Esther play given by the kids of the synagogue. There she was the next day at Bnai Emmanual for the Purim fest. Lady Lynda and her husband SeymourToze happily found a seat near the front row. They were so glad the temple was reform and the women and men could sit together. It looked to the Toze’s both the grownups and the kids were joyfully anticipating the show.
The couple and other members soon saw how the kids really hammed it up as they once more demonstrated to the congragation the story of Esther and Purim their parents The grownups kvelled, gushed with pride. The costumes,especially Eshter;s beautiful emerald green dress with its turquoise and gold glued on sequins truly made the sweet little girl playing the heroine looked genuinely like a princess The members of the synogogue delighted in booing the villian Hamen. They cheered on seeing the loving heroism of the boy playing Mordechai It was a fine time for everyone celebrating the festival proving the providence of the LORD Rabbi Samual Bernstein thanked everyone and wished them a happy , joyous Purim.